Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and insights

from parents just like you all over the world.

Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

When your teenager sits you down and wants to come clean to you about something, when you're on

vacation and wondering whether you should try to squeeze one more thing in, when your adult child

decides to get divorced, when you're frustrated and resentful about something with your spouse

and decide to have a talk, there's something you should keep in mind. Captain Dave Carey spent

five and a half years as a

POW in Vietnam. When he came on the Daily Dad podcast, and you should start listening to our

weekend episodes, he was talking about some difficult moments he's had with his oldest son,

someone he doesn't always see eye to eye with. I always remind myself, Dave explained, that the goal of every conversation

is to get to have the next conversation. That means trying not to say things you'll regret. It means

avoiding absolutes and judgments. It means not closing doors. And as we've said above, this advice

applies to more than just conversations, but indeed all our

interactions with our kids. How successful was your vacation if it sours the whole gang on doing it

again? If your teenager learns that coming clean results in being screamed at, what do you think

they'll think the next time they're mixed up in something. You want this fight with your spouse

to be the last one? Lower the stakes. Think of the future. Keep the lines of communication open.

Keep the lines of connection open. Deal with the consequences or accountability later. Now just focus on

listening, on understanding, on the relationship.

Because if you try to do everything now, if you dump all your emotions out now, well, you

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