I'll do it. My children aren't going hungry. I will eat your ass.

A good dad will show up to all their kids' band concerts. A great dad will eat ass.

Welcome to another episode of This Fucking Guy, the show that picks one fucking guy making America worse and explains why they suck.

I'm Aaron Ryan, host of Crooked Media's

hysteria podcast. And I'm Alyssa Master Monaco, the other host of Crooked Media's hysteria podcast.

Today we're showcasing a truly hysterical American. And we don't mean hysterical like he induces

hysterical laughter. Although I have to admit that Alex

Jones' emotional outbursts make for entertaining content, the cynical, horridish agenda behind it

make him one of America's most deserving of a kick in the nuts. More than a gentle tap,

we need a full-on Chris Boswell level punt right to the groin. A kick that splits the uprights

from 58 yards out.

He'd probably cry. Alex Jones has cried over much less than having his crotch shattered by a righteous booting. He's cried so much on camera that if he were a gilded age woman, he'd have been institutionalized and issued a medical grade vibrator to calm him down. Don't worry, we'll get to see him crying at the end of this episode as a little treat. Alyssa, confronting the sheer volume of stupidity that Alex Jones has unleashed on the world for the last 30 years is daunting.

The guy has broadcasted for hours a day, most days of the week, for so long that honestly, if we wanted, we could probably have AI scrape the Infowars Archive and generate a brand new, totally artificial Alex Jones.

Many have dismissed Alex as a conspiracy addled moron, a wild-eyed nutbag, a megachurch pastor for racists with lead poisoning, or a clown. But just because he's a clown doesn't mean he's not

dangerous. Present day, Alex Jones can be relied on to make excuses for the corrupt Magaites, goose-stepping America

towards fascism. But for most of his career, he was the one questioning authority, ever wary of the

U.S. government. He hated Democrats and Republicans. He was truly one of those, both sides are equally

bad guys. So how does one go from from don't tread on me conspiracy goon to

tread on me daddy, Donald Trump bootlicker? Let's try to figure it out. Alex Jones was born on

February 11th, 1974, and raised in Rockwall, Texas, a suburb of Dallas. He apparently had a normal

life. He was on the football team. He had a normal family

except for the fact that his dad was a dentist, and a lot of weirdos have dads who are dentists.

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