Last September, the research vessel, Blue Heron, went in for some routine maintenance.

You know, the usual stuff, oil change, tire rotation, exorcism.

The ship had a noisy propeller shaft, which is apparently something you don't want to hear

while navigating the Great Lakes unless you enjoy your vessel sounding like a dying walrus.

During inspection, Captain Ruali discovered a

surprise oozing from the rudder post, a thick, black, tar-like goo bubbling up like something

out of a low-budget horror movie. Most people would have called hazmat, or possibly the Ghostbusters.

Lee, with the calm of a man either deeply experienced or mildly possessed, collected samples instead.

The goo failed every test.

Dropped in water, no oil slick.

Hit with a blowtorch.

It just sat there, unimpressed.

This is not normal behavior for anything that looks like it should

come with a warning label and its own horror soundtrack. So, naturally, Marine Superintendent

Doug Ricketts transported half a cup of this definitely not alien goo to the University of Minnesota

Duluth, and what we could only hope was something more secure than a Tupperware

container. There, Associate Professor Cody Sheik did what any rational scientist would do,

cracked open its cells and peaked at the DNA, because that's never gone wrong in any movie

ever. Turns out the goo contained 20 different genetic sequences.

Nineteen of them matched known life forms.

One did not.

It matched absolutely nothing in any database anywhere on Earth.

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