They forgot to hang up, and I heard the most unhinged thing.

This wasn't a phone call, but happened as I was leaving a potential rental.

I was looking for a place to rent. I met the property manager, and she walked me to the unit.

It wasn't the best neighbourhood, and my mind was already made up as I was walking around the

property with her, that I wasn't going to go through with it. But the lady was very nice and friendly, and I figured at least I'd take a look inside the unit. It was small and dingy. I looked around and told her nicely that I'd think about it, and then I walked out. As soon as the door closed, I could hear her screaming, No, you freaking won't. Frick! Oh, I'll think about it and let you know, will you?

Oh, frick, fuck you! I'm certainly glad that I didn't rent from her. I left a client to voicemail, and I thought I hung up, but in fact I proceeded to talk baby talk to my roommate's cat for several minutes while it was recording. Oofed. My cat has a human name when I talked to him in a normal tone, so a hypothetical client would have been treated to, Where you been, Nelson? Did you take a dump on the floor again? God damn it, we talked about this. My mother-in-law had a new boss who hated her. She was about three years from retirement, and she felt like he was trying to push her out early, so she'd lose part of her pension and stuff. She asked me to check her

answering machine while she was gone after her mother died, and let her know if anything

important came in and to water her plants. The third day or so I'd been there, there was a

message from this boss giving his condolences. Then you could hear the click where he thought he'd hung up, but he must have placed the receiver just wrong and was still on the line. He ruthlessly made fun of her with his wife for the next five minutes or so, before saying, Oh, Frick! And hanging up. She was at a really low point in her life, and I didn't have the heart to tell her, or leave the message on the machine. It would have absolutely crushed her. But I did record it, and then I deleted it from her machine. And then I called that butthole and told him what I had, why I wasn't telling her right now, but that I absolutely would, if needed in the future, and I told him I'd better hear nothing but how wonderful

work was going for her, and how well she was treated until she retired. I told him I didn't even

understand what a piece of crap you had to be to talk about someone like that behind their back,

and especially at such a time in their life. And that's exactly what happened. She had a wonderful

last few years at the job, and figured that her mother dying had opened him up to treat her kindly and with respect. That was twenty what happened. She had a wonderful last few years at the job and figured that her

mother dying had opened him up to treat her kindly and with respect. That was 20 years ago and I never

told her and never will. I wouldn't want to ever take those last few years there away from her.

I did not expect a tear-jurker act of kindness in this particular topic, but there you have it.

Not a dry eye in the

house. I mean, voice-over booth. Me and the no doubt countless organisms in the space I sit in for

eight hours a day applaud your humanity. It's not a crazy story, but I'd just finished talking to a

client over the phone. We said our goodbyes, and then I hear her ask, are you wearing pants today? I wasn't

sure how to answer that, but I figured she was jokingly asking because everyone just started working

from home due to COVID. And I just replied, yes. She burst out laughing then, trying to explain that

...