Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast, where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and insights from

parents just like you all over the world. Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

They don't know what they want. You ask your kids if they want to go to the park and they say no,

but you know they'll actually have a great time, so you force them. They say they don't like

meatloaf, but you know they love it. They say they're not tired, but you know they need to sleep so

badly. They tell you they want to quit piano, but you know they'll regret it. You know that your

kids don't know what they actually

want because all they can tell you is what they don't want. You know better. You're convinced of it,

and most of the time you're right. But what kind of precedent are you setting when you consistently

compel them to do these things against their will? As a parent, it's really easy to force your

kids to do stuff, whether it's because you're bigger or because you control the purse strings.

You possess the power to make them do what you think is best. And when you wield that power

without so much as a conversation, you're teaching them that they have no power, no control,

that their wishes don't really matter in this life. You're also setting up a bad habit for yourself.

You won't always have this kind of power over them. You don't want to habitualize a kind of

disrespect or a disinterest in what they think they want. Because one day, they'll want to change their college major. They want to

move across the country. They'll want to make some lifestyle change you disagree with. They want to tweak

some longstanding family tradition. And you will be so used to thinking that you know better,

that you are the decider, that you won't be able to handle it. But worse than that, your

relationship with your kids won't be able to weather the fallout from your egotistical implosion.

Your kids don't always know what they want, but guess what? Nobody does. So you have to figure out

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