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The Mel Robbins Podcast

These 4 Words Will Silence Your Self-Doubt: A Life-Changing Conversation

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.810.6K Ratings

🗓️ 17 August 2023

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, you and I are dismantling one of the most crippling forms of self-doubt. "Imposter Syndrome" is when you think you’re not good enough and that everyone else is smarter, more successful, and has more to contribute than you do. Everyone feels it. It’s so common that the Harvard Business Review found that even 70% of the world’s top executives have struggled with it. My mission today is to convince you that Imposter Syndrome is actually a GOOD thing. And I’ll use an example from my own life to prove my case. Come backstage with me to a huge music festival, where my daughter Kendall, an aspiring singer-songwriter, comes face-to-face with the famous musicians who inspired her career. Cue the panic. Self-doubt almost made her bail on what turned out to be a life-changing weekend in her career. She turned it around (you’ll hear how) and, as a result, was invited impromptu to perform twice with Grammy-Winning musicians! Listen and learn how to be more courageous and confident in those moments that really matter. I can’t wait for you to hear: The 4 words Kendall repeated that crushed self-doubt and got her on stage. The powerful mantra to say when you’re nervous walking into a room. How to use humor (and tuna sandwiches) to connect with anyone. Why being a "nobody" is the most amazing "somebody" you could be. It’s time to hit delete on your self-doubt forever. This one is so good and so relatable that you’ll be yelling, Encore! Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:15: Harvard Business Review says imposter syndrome is #1 fear of executives. 3:40: Kendall puts us at the scene of her own paralyzing episode of self-doubt. 5:30: Imagine being surrounded by everyone you’ve admired your entire life. 11:30: This is the message you need to hear if you’re deep in self-doubt. 12:45: My own story of feeling like an imposter before I became a speaker. 19:30: Here’s how to start shifting your mindset and boost your confidence. 20:20: The piece of advice that will help you stand taller. 21:40: The three-letter word you need to repeat when your insecurity creeps in 22:30: Once you change your mindset, your actions fall into place. 24:00: You have a gift to offer even the most experienced people in your field. 25:00: The seven words Kendall dropped that I’m still thinking about. 27:15: The #1 takeaway from this conversation about self-doubt. 28:45: Own where you are, and here’s what we mean by that. 31:00: What you’re thinking will happen probably won’t. 33:00: Learn how to balance giving and receiving, and you'll crack the code. 35:15: Are you waiting for validation? Listen to this. 38:00: There’s a reason you’re here. Here’s how to start believing that 41:00: Here’s why imposter syndrome is a GOOD thing. Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

0:07.5

Today, we are going to get right into it. We're going to talk about imposter syndrome.

0:10.8

And the reason why I wanted to talk about this is because our daughter Kendall, who is 23 years old,

0:16.4

just had a situation this weekend at this music festival that triggered imposter syndrome.

0:21.2

And I thought, why don't we unpack this moment where your imposter syndrome got triggered?

0:27.6

And then more importantly, the incredible things that you shared with me that helped you turn

0:32.7

it around. So ladies and gentlemen, everybody who's listening, Kendall Robbins.

0:41.2

Hey, everybody. All right, so tell us what happened. Okay, so this past weekend, I

0:47.6

had my first experience as an artist in the real artist world is what I'm going to call it.

0:57.7

What does artist mean? I am pursuing a career as a professional recording and touring artist.

1:03.4

And I'm a singer, songwriter. I've started to write my own music. I'm moving out to LA

1:09.2

in a few weeks time. And this past weekend was my first experience surrounded by

1:15.6

really successful artists that are doing the thing that I want to do. And as somebody that's

1:22.4

been in school for the past four years, I've had very few experiences like this. And so this past

1:28.5

weekend was my first few days fully existing in that world without the label of a student on my

1:37.5

back. I didn't have that sort of shadow to hide in anymore. I was feeling embarrassed. I was feeling

1:41.7

awkward. I was feeling like an imposter like I don't belong because I don't have music out and I

1:47.7

don't have fans and I don't have a social media following. Let's just back the truck up a minute.

1:52.8

So let's just set the table. First of all, every human being struggles with moments of imposter

1:59.6

syndrome. I'm looking at the research right here, everybody. I've got my research. Psychologists

2:07.6

call this fear of being found out in posture syndrome. It was coined in the 1970s by two

2:14.4

female researchers. In fact, Harvard Business Review Kendall says that executives worldwide agree

...

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