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Today's question comes from Matthew in Ohio. Matthew writes, my wife and I are in our 20s and we're on Baby Step 2.

My in-laws make good money, but are in a lot of debt. Whenever my wife goes shopping with them,

she always comes home with something she has hinted to me about wanting that they purchase for her.

Am I wrong to feel as if my in-laws are enabling her to continue bad habits

by purchasing what she wants without practicing patience herself?

She knows they are in debt and what was purchased was most likely put on a credit card.

Hmm.

Dave, I'm torn on this one because here's what I'm hearing.

Hearing two things.

One,

I'm hearing a husband that wishes he could buy his wife stuff and he can't.

And so he wants to shut the whole thing down.

And also hear a husband who wants to be the parents of her parents and dictate how they do what they do and when they do it for their child.

And he's also wanting to parent his wife.

That's right. Also be the father's last mother

talking about her like she's just like she's a 17 year old daughter and she's developing bad

habits hanging out with her mother yeah um sorry i don't like that yeah so i mean if matthi if you and

your wife sit to get together and say hey we don't want to we don't want to support our parents, bad money habits. And so we're just going to stop taking

stuff. We're not going to stop letting them buy things for us. You can do that. Let's reframe the position that your wife is in. Okay. Your wife is not your child. Correct. And the two of you as two freaking grown-ups should sit down and talk about this.

Honey, it bothers me.

Your mom and dad shouldn't be putting crap on a credit card that they can't afford that are buying us stuff we can't afford. Right. It's bothersome to me. Does that not bother you? As a grown woman, you should be able to look at your mom and go, no, I can't afford this. You can't afford this. We shouldn't be doing this.

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