Good morning, good afternoon or good evening, depending on where you are on the planet.

Welcome to Ill-Advised by Bill Nye. Note the first word. That's the clue in the title,

Ill-Advised by Bill Nye, the podcast for people who don't get out much and can't handle it when they do.

It's a refuge for the clumsy and the awkward.

If you're relaxed at dinner parties and good in bed, there's nothing for you here.

The risk of getting to my age is that you can not infrequently be mistaken for somebody

who knows what's happening.

You may have picked up a few things that are of use, like, I don't know,

online shopping, parking, not in my case, not taking cocaine, which is always useful. But other

than that, in all the big and important things, I remain profoundly in the dark. If I should at any

point start to sound like somebody who knows what they're doing

or attempt any kind of profundity call a cab, particularly in the area of relationships

or walking into crowded bars or anywhere where there's a lot of people.

I will attempt to answer your questions without actually making things worse.

But really, and I can't emphasize this enough,

it's an invitation to squander time. Squandering time, it's vital, it's time, unplug, unplug with me,

sit in the car, have a cup of tea, go to your independent coffee shop, whatever you do when you want one plug,

give up smoking and listen to me. I promise you nothing of great import will be included.

I absolutely guarantee you that none of my remarks will be life-changing in any way.

So you're in the clear. And squander is such a good word. Don't you feel it? I'll also be

suggesting some songs and books too. There'll be a book of the week or a book of the episode.

And there'll be a playlist every week and I'll try and theme it sort of, kind of. We've had an

...