From MPR, this is Invisibilia. I'm Yoesha. And I'm Kia Miyakanatees.

Okay, so Kia, a couple of years ago, I was talking to my therapist, having kind of a boring

session, when she told me something that pushed a button. I did not know even existed

inside me. She just casually suggested the idea of friend therapy.

Okay, what did she mean by that?

So I think she meant like group therapy or couples therapy, but between friends. But in

that moment, all I remember is my blood running cold, my entire body recoiling and saying,

F that very loudly in my head. Why? That is quite the reaction.

I think it was because I never heard those words uttered before, friend therapy. It also

just seemed mad awkward. Like, you know, me, like I don't have the practice of dealing

with conflict in the most head-on way. I already have trouble asking my friends to turn

clothes that they borrowed. I mean, I feel you though, that is a heart rate. So because

of this friendship season we're working on, I've been replaying that moment in my head,

wondering why I had such an extreme reaction. So I talked to someone about it.

Because when you bring somebody else into your individual therapy, you lose the hegemony

of the narrative. And so I wonder if part of your know was no to losing that ownership.

This is of course none other than the S. Der Perel, one of the most famous relationship

therapists out there. It's like such a voice of authority. Or I'm just like, I believe

you. Yes, the stair. Totally. A stair is a psychotherapist and the host of two podcasts

where should we begin and how's work? Which are fascinating because you get to sit in

the room and hear a stair help real life couples and co-workers work through their issues.

I actually have a friend who every time she gets on a plane, she listens to a stairs podcast

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