Their Addiction Is Not Your Fault

Love Over Addiction

Michelle Anderson

Society & Culture, Wifeofanalcoholic, Codependency, Relationships, Recovery, Alanon

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 5 January 2020

⏱️ 7 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Are you a mother or father with a child suffering from addiction? If so, do you take on the blame of their addiction? Do you think it’s your fault? Do you think that you did (or didn’t do) something right, and that’s why they’re suffering?

I’m here to tell you it’s not your fault. And when you listen to today’s episode, you’ll hear why it’s not your fault + another loving truth.

We have a free masterclass just for parents who have a child suffering from addiction. You can learn more and sign up here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/parents/

Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/not-your-fault/

Join the parent community here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/LoveOverAddictionForParents/

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast. This episode is extra special. I just finished writing a program for parents who have
0:26.2	children that are addicted to drugs and alcohol and after months and months of
0:31.8	research I think love over addiction for parents is some of our best work yet.
0:39.0	Today we will be dedicated to talking to all the moms and dads out there who are struggling with their children's addiction
0:47.0	So first I want to acknowledge something important. You're in an extra painful spot. I've led enough small groups to know that you compare
0:57.0	yourselves to the husbands and wives and think they have it so much easier than I do. They can just leave. And that's true.
1:07.0	For most of us in the community who are married to good men and women addicted to drugs or alcohol. One of our greatest fears is that our
1:16.2	children will follow the same path as their addicted parent. So with that being said, I also want to share two things I think you really need to hear.
1:29.0	Number one, this is not your fault. You didn't cause them to drink or use drugs. Even if they had a very difficult childhood, there are many kids who heal of their pain and never go down the path of addiction.
1:47.0	Are there things you look back on and say, gosh, I could have done that better. I am sure of it. You were not a perfect parent, but who is? What mom or dad
2:02.0	can't look back all of the years of parenting and think,
2:06.0	I could have made a better choice with my child in that situation?
2:10.0	And frankly, in many situations, any parent whose home is not an occasional shit show is faking it.
2:21.0	And sorry for the swearing there, but's true we all have war stories from our
2:26.4	childhood but at a certain age those childhood traumas need to stop becoming excuses.
2:36.6	In fact, just like last week, I was at a conference
2:40.0	and a therapist called me out.
2:42.4	You guys, it was in front of a large group.
2:45.2	And she called me out for coming to the event
2:48.4	with a closed-minded attitude.
2:51.2	And to be truthful, she was right. She said I was closed off because I was protecting
2:56.7	myself from the possibility of embracing success and the love of the other women around me.
	...

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