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Softcore History

The Worst Person To Ever Live Bracket

Softcore History

Softcore History

Improv, Comedy, History

4.91.2K Ratings

🗓️ 30 March 2026

⏱️ 121 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We put together a 68 person March Madness bracket of some of the most evil and despicable humans to ever grace this planet and decide who is the worst of all time.Subscribe to the Softcore History Patreon for hundreds of hours of extra history content including episodes like this, listener voicemails, movie watch-alongs, and weekly bonus episodes. Download thePrizePicks app today and use code SOFTCORE to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup! That’s code SOFTCORE to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup! PrizePicks. It’s good to be right.Rob Foxhttps://www.instagram.com/robfoxthree/ https://twitter.com/RobFoxThree https://www.tiktok.com/@robfoxthree Dan Regesterhttps://www.instagram.com/danregester/ https://twitter.com/dan_regester Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

you are now listening to soft core history

0:11.0

ladies and gentlemen welcome back to softcore history i'm your host for the week

0:17.4

damrejester joined as always by robert fox what is going on, I don't know how the show is going to sound yet, but I hope, because we're recording it, I'm not, I don't know how it's going to sound in post yet, but I hope that one shining moment or the CBS theme will be playing over the beginning of this episode. Well, not on YouTube. Yeah, not on YouTube. Can't do it on YouTube.

0:38.3

Certainly not on the audio either, because it's the same as YouTube. Is it? Yeah. Ah, shit. I'm lazy.

0:45.0

Fair enough. It's a quick turnaround, Rob. One shining moment. We got dinged. Right there.

0:50.7

Demonitized. Immediately. That's $4 down the toilet. I'm excited for today's episode. It's going to be a pretty long one. I can tell you're excited. We have a guest as well. Scott Lopez joins the show once again. Hey guys. How's it going? Pleasure to be here. Straight from a paintball tournament. Didn't even stop at home. Yeah. No, I got I got roasted by a 10 year

1:12.5

old yesterday. I was wearing my hot dog suit and she walks up to me and she says, you look weird.

1:20.3

And I was like, oh, thank you. And then she says, but thumbs up for confidence. Oh, God. And I was

1:26.0

like, all right. The second one's worse.

2:01.8

And then like a couple hours go by. She finds me again. And she's like, where'd you get that earring? And I was like, the farmer's market. And she goes, you look like someone who goes to a farmer's market. And then just walks away. And I was like, all right, child. What the hell? First off, she roasting you so. Wouldn't idiot child, because obviously only the wealthy go to a farmer's market. Yeah. Right? You look like you go to Aldi. That's a good point. Or like a Randall's? Fiesta. No, Randalls is too high. It's like a fiesta or an Aldi. Maybe a Trader Joe when you're flush.

2:09.0

Yeah. Yeah. Payday weekends. Trader Joe's. I mean, I've had that happen to me before. One time I was walking along in H.E.B. and this little Mexican girl. And I think she was like

2:15.9

extremely Mexican because she said this to me in Spanish,

2:18.5

but I understood it because it was just one word.

2:20.9

And it was impossible to, you know, there's no language barrier for it.

2:25.1

She looks up at me and my dark hair and my pasty skin.

2:29.6

And she goes, points at me.

2:31.5

She's with her mom.

2:32.3

Pointed to me and goes, vampiro. And I was just like, well, I was going out later tonight. But again, another dumb bitch, because obviously a vampire wouldn't be in the sun. It might have been nighttime. It might have been nighttime. I think I was like going to get beer for like a pregame. Vampires are wealthy. They live a long enough time to get money. To agree. Can you imagine being a poor vampire? I was just like what a piece of shit you are. Just generation after generation and you did not accumulate wealth. No. Like literally by the 1700s, you just get a hundred bucks, put it in a savings account. And don't touch it for a while. That's kind of the story of Logan, right?

3:08.3

He's been around since the Civil War still has no money.

3:10.6

Hobo.

3:11.4

Terpore.

3:12.6

It's pathetic.

...

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