The WORST Crimes That People Admit To... And how they ESCAPED

Am I the Genius?

amithejerk.com

Education, Self-improvement

4.6 • 765 Ratings

🗓️ 28 April 2026

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The worst crimes these people admit to, and how they escaped.
0:05.3	When I was 12, I walked into a large, shall we say, Target-like store with my brother,
0:11.0	grabbed the nicest bike we could find, and walked it up to customer service,
0:14.7	and asked to return the bike my brother got for his birthday.
0:17.8	They asked if we had a receipt, to which we replied, no.
0:22.2	They apologized and said we needed to go home and get the receipt before we could return it. We asked if we were going to be
0:26.7	able to leave the store with the bike if we didn't have the receipt, and in response, they called
0:30.5	security over to escort us safely out, with the bike. It was too easy. When I was 18, I'm 32 now, I got arrested for shoplifting
0:40.2	at a hardware store. I was at a dark point in my life. Broke, I needed money, so I was taking
0:45.8	things to return later for cash. They let you do that at the time without a receipt. I got caught
0:50.7	stuffing items behind my belt by an off-duty cop who was in the aisle next to me
0:54.8	looking through the cracks. As I walked out of the store, security nabbed me and more cops came.
1:00.2	Cops had me standing with my hands on the table by the main entrance while they talked to the manager.
1:05.1	They'd already discovered about 40 bucks worth of items I'd taken, but when they were asking
1:09.0	me to unload the items, I unloaded all
1:11.3	but one, a $200 thermostat or something. As I was standing there at the table with the whole
1:16.6	store watching me from behind, I very discreetly reached over and pulled it out of my belt,
1:21.7	stuck it between my thighs, and wiggled it slowly down my legs all the way to my feet,
1:26.5	and just kicked it off to the side.
1:28.8	Somehow nobody saw it.
1:30.3	That little feat was the difference between a Class C misdemeanor, theft under 50 bucks, and a Class B,
1:36.3	which is a difference of about two grand in fines and up to six months of jail time.
	...

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