The World's OLDEST Human | Sal Vulcano & Chris Distefano Present: Hey Babe! | EP 29

Sal and Chris Present: Hey Babe!

No Presh Network

Comedy Interviews, Comedy

4.9 • 7K Ratings

🗓️ 17 June 2021

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Hey Babe! is a podcast where comedians Chris Distefano and Sal Vulcano share stories and have fun. Let your hair down & come hang out with the BABES! THE BABES talk GETTING OLD! Chris has the sniffles this episode and the babes hop right into how tissues are made and how many are used each year. How many tissue brands are there? The babes watch a viral video of a teenager attacking a bear in her backyard. Could you survive a bear attack? How do you deal with a bear when confronted?! Sal has an INSANE story about bears from Impractical Jokers. What are the most dangerous animals? One national park has the most dangerous bears! Sal talks about the time he got attacked by a CLOUDED LEOPARD while at a zoo. Hippos are a weird animal...WHY ARE THEY SO THICCCC. Shout out sploofs! What would you do if you found out a person you fell in love with was a terrorist? What's the oldest person you could have intercourse with? Shout out the OLDEST human on Earth Kane Tanaka! She is now our BIGGEST HERO ON THE PLANET! GOD BLESS HER! Imagine being alive for 120 years? The babes get a NEW painting from a TALENTED FAN! How to get really old....HEY BABE! Rate us on iTunes! https://linktr.ee/Nopreshnetwork Follow The Show! Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/heybabepod/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/heybabepod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Don't be a fake, don't be a flake. Don't run away from your feelings, babe. Don't be a fray. Don't be ashamed. Don't hesitate to say, hey babe.
0:12.5	Hey babe. Hey babe. Hey babe. Hey babe. Hey babe. Hey babe. Hey.
0:19.7	Herosay. Boysay. Hey babe. Hey babe. Hey babe. Hey babe. Hey babe.
0:27.7	What's up babe?
0:29.2	What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Got some problems?
0:31.2	Oh yeah, this girl, that grossed you out a little bit.
0:35.2	A little bit. But no bookers on it. No bookers on it. A little better.
0:39.2	Relatively dry. That bag, that actually, that bag's getting some weight to it.
0:43.2	Got a tissue. I gave you this bag 15 minutes ago. And I'm gonna suck you in shopping for like a half hour.
0:49.2	I'm gonna do a lot of tissues. Wow. So, owls. Seasons. I took a COVID test. I'm COVID-wobie free.
0:55.2	But the owls. You can call Chris. Owl. What's that? You can call me Owl. I shorten the owls to Owl.
1:03.2	And then I put your name in a song by Simon Paul Simon. Yeah. It really took a shit.
1:11.2	You know what's up? You know what it's another one you could get funky wet.
1:15.2	As you could say my owl Jazeera's on fire. Oh, I like that. Yeah.
1:19.2	Yeah. Americans use upwards of 255 trillion 300 no 255 billion 366 million disposable facial tissues a year.
1:33.2	Yep. Billions. Wow. Just an American. More trillion tissues. I would say.
1:39.2	Clean ex by the way. I've used. I've used in the span of the last 15 to 20 minutes.
1:45.2	So, you can use 55 of your tissues firing through them firing through. I cannot stop sneezing and it's clear liquid snout juice which is telling me it's allergies.
1:55.2	Tissues can be manufactured using trees that are turned into wood chips and then cooked to separate the fiber from the glue that holds the tree together.
2:05.2	This fiber is then formed into a sheet and ultimately into a tissue. You're destroying the rain for it.
2:11.2	I've had enough of the trees. What's up everybody? I'm back on the road doing stand up. Go to Chris D comedy dot com.
2:17.2	Check the website. See if your city's on there. We got a lot of shows sold out where and a lot of shows.
	...

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