much like Martin Luther King, Gage's had a dream. Gage did have a dream. Gage had a dream on Friday night, and there were two crucial components to this dream that are really the only things that matter because they're the only things I remembered when I woke up. The first was that I was a manager at a Target, like the store, the big box store. And the second was that I was happy. And so I woke up and I realized I woke up and I realized I could actually achieve one of these things. Right. So I googled how much Target store managers make. Naturally. And on average, nationally, $100,000. That's crazy. That's 1000s. What could they possibly be doing? No, literally. And it's like, I used to wonder, like, why do all these, like, managers at Walmart's and targets act like fucking tyrants? Like, never, ever did I, like, understand the true meaning of the word, the managerial class. Yeah. Like, they are really just illegal, making six figures? Here's the thing, though. Here's the thing. As a person who grew up on Meyer and Walmart in Michigan, I must say that I like Target the most out of a lot of the big stores. It's the nicest one. It's nice. It's affordable like for people like us, you know, people that don't have a lot of money to spend. Walmart's like the cheapest one, but like Target's nice. I feel like classier. You get the, yeah, you get the most bang for your buck. It's very nice organized. They're dyed section. It's crazy. It's all very nice. But also, they're terrible to their workers. And also, isn't there that thing where they try to get shoplifters with a felony? Oh my God. Yeah. So Target, they'll actually wait until you've, they keep track of anyone who's like stolen from their

store right right right i don't know how the fuck that they do it but they will let you steal

until i think you've stolen five hundred dollars worth of merchandise because then they can

upgrade your charge from petty theft to grand larceny god damn or maybe not grand larceny

just regular larceny but whatever one is harder that will grand larceny, just regular larceny, but whatever one is harder

that will land you like in jail. Like it's literally just racist. Like when you boil it all down. Of course. But also it's like, what the fuck? Like, so you're just going to eat those losses just to put people into that. That is the pettyest shit I've ever seen. But if I was making $100,000 a year dog as a manager.

Look, I know, I know this is a public podcast, like, you know, free to access, anybody can get it. And I don't really want to speak this into existence, but it's good to know there's a, like, a limit that I can hit before I get hit with any felony, you know? Exactly. Hey, that's all I'm saying. If I need to. All I'm saying is no ethical consumption, you know what I mean?

Right, no ethical consumption

and it's good to know

that I have a range

of what I can steal

before I'm getting trouble.

If you ascribe to that notion, all I'm saying is like, maybe hit target a little bit and think somewhere else if you're thinking what I'm thinking. Yeah, just be safe, you know. Yeah, we understand how the economy is strangulating. Just be careful. Exactly. Just avoid targets.

But I'm thinking, you know, you had this dream about being a target manager.

Okay.

You're wearing red today.

See, see, that's also the thing that got me thinking was I was like, okay, target managers are making $100,000, like, on average.

You know what's biochemists make?

How much?

Fucking like 70. You're in the wrong major. That's what I said. That's what I said. It was the day, it was the next day, the morning after, I just had a fucking biochemics and lipid metabolism. And I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? All week I was stressed about it. I could just be a target manager. Hey, bro, but the free market works.

Yeah, exactly.

Researching how the human body All week I was stressed about it. I could just be a target manager. Hey, bro. But the free market works.

...