The Window of Tolerance Charissa Fry Ep 260
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
4.9 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 7 October 2019
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
As parents, we are keenly aware of the peaks and valleys of our kids’ emotions. Anger, sadness, excitement, and all the other feelings can make us feel like our child is on a roller coaster we’re just trying to slow down.
It’s true that we all feel highs and lows throughout our day, but we rarely talk about what it feel like when we’re “in the zone” and feeling calm and ready to go. My guest today is sharing about the window of tolerance and how to regulate ourselves and our kids to help stay in that window.
“If I am dysregulated, I cannot regulate my child. So if I'm in fight or flight and I'm yelling. There's no amount of yelling that brings my child back into the window. And sometimes parents think the yelling is working, but what you're doing isn’t getting your child in the window. They're going into collapse and into a place of fear.”
Charissa Fry is a Licensed Professional Counselor and believer. Her passion is to come alongside those who are hurting and struggling to help them find truth, hope, healing, connection, and growth. She shares some eye-opening information and statistics to get us on the path to helping our kids build resilience and stay in that window of tolerance.
Charissa shares from a faith-perspective that we as believers are not alone. She reminds us that we can lean on God to regulate our emotions as we love on our kids and go through the hardships of life.
“God himself through Jesus is the ultimate attachment figure. He is always reaching for us. He never fails to respond to our needs. He always loves us. He's never judging us and never shaming us. So to know that when we need to be co-regulated, that when I am feeling like I'm going to leave the window, I can remember the truth of who God is and I can reach out to him in prayer.”
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey y'all welcome back to the Don't Mom Alarm Podcast. I am your host Heather McFadden |
| 0:12.8 | and this is the place where I'm going to walk alongside you and connect you with people |
| 0:18.1 | and resources to help you know that you don't mom alone. |
| 0:23.2 | In this episode number 260 I have the privilege of introducing you to one of my friends and |
| 0:29.1 | someone from my church community a licensed professional counselor, Karissa Fry. |
| 0:35.2 | This other beautiful part of attachment theory that we're starting to lean into more is |
| 0:40.9 | that God Himself through Jesus is like the ultimate attachment figure. He is always |
| 0:47.4 | reaching for us. He never fails to respond to our needs. He always loves us. He is never |
| 0:53.5 | judging us, never shaming us, such a know that when we need to be co-regulated, that when |
| 1:01.2 | I am feeling like I'm going to leave the window that I can remember the truth of who God |
| 1:06.1 | is, that I can reach out to Him in prayer. Those things are regulating to us as believers |
| 1:12.3 | because we have this like all powerful God who adores us and is so delighted to hear |
| 1:18.3 | from us. So I think that aspect of we're not alone because of God and then the second |
| 1:23.2 | aspect of we're not alone because we have the family of God. |
| 1:27.5 | I don't know how familiar you are with the terms attachment theory, poly bagel theory, |
| 1:32.4 | window of tolerance, but Karissa is going to graciously walk us through what they are |
| 1:37.7 | taking her professional counseling experience, her masters from seminary and as a single |
| 1:43.9 | mom to variant, all of that together to give us a wonderful framework to understand more |
| 1:49.4 | about how we're made, how we have the privilege of understanding a little better what's going |
| 1:55.0 | on in ourselves and in our kids instead of just reacting and responding to emotional roller |
| 2:00.6 | coasters. You're going to feel a lot more equipped. It's going to change how you interact |
| 2:05.0 | with your kids today. I think it's going to be one of those episodes. You say, hey, |
... |
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