Welcome to the Eric Muttaxe Show!

You know, years ago, Eric and I were close.

Very close.

I remember that one summer we shaved each other's backs and thought nothing of it.

But over the years somehow a shadow has fallen over our friendship and now the two of us

are about the heriest sons of guns you can imagine.

And now all the humans sweater himself.

Eric Muttaxe.

It's true.

Todd and I, I'll never forget that summer, but I try.

I've tried therapy.

I've tried everything, but I still can't get it out of my mind.

Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat thinking of Todd's back.

It's disgusting.

Folks, as you know, this is the program about everything, which means we talk about a lot

of different stuff.

Today, one of the things I'd like to talk about is what is going on in New York City.

I'm in New York City.

I was born in New York City.

I live in New York City.

My daughter was born in New York City and we're here.

And I want to tell the world what is happening in New York City, particularly with regard to

...