While we were stuffing our faces with room temperature hot wings and arguing about whether a holding call ruin the game, which, by the way, it did not.

The Patriots, my heart, just they were really that bad.

The Gears of the Republic didn't just grind to a halt, you guys.

They just completely broke down and disrobed.

Picture this.

Donald Trump is perched at his private club in Florida, Mar-Lago, hate watching a

halftime show his own White House told the rest of us to boycott.

He's frantically typing that no one can understand a word bad bunny says, that the entire

performance was a slap in the face to the flag,

while his inner circle is busy counting the demographics on stage and complaining that it isn't

white enough. It's literally a master class in hypocrisy for a guy whose press secretary

spent the week at the podium playing Regina George with a security clearance.

Pam Bondi was shaming the country into watching some bargain-ben,

basically state-sponsored safe space for the kind of ignorant, homophobic fucks who are terrified that a rainbow or a single subtitle might finally break their fragile,

hateful little hearts.

But that's just the performative hate porn at the top, guys.

Because the rest of it is stuffed with pedophile adjacent cabinet members and a DOJ that's

basically a concierge service for criminals.

Because while the president was busy being pissed off by vowels, his commerce secretary was

fielding bipartisan demands to resign. Because whoopsie, it turns out that he was still cutting

deals with a convicted pedophile years after said pedophile cop to sex crimes.

It's a bad look, sure, but don't worry because the Justice Department has been busy.

...