Live from Sherwood Forest in the heart of Atlanta, Georgia, hour one of the Von Hesler Doctrine begins right now.

I am your lovable, huggable, mid-morning chat host, Eric Von Hessler, surrounded by the doctrinairs, down one, but plus one. Tim Andrews is here,

Autumn Fisher is here. Jared Yamamoto is recovering from a weekend of EDM. That's the down one,

but we add one, English Nick. Good day. Is it for Jared Yamamoto. Did they just say it was a nine on the mellish meter?

Yeah.

Whenever it's a nine, I always wonder, what keeps it from being a ten?

And I think to myself, maybe if this nine, and it's still early in the day, at some point,

if this nine on the mellish meter would look straight into the camera in a sexy fashion very slowly remove their glasses

and then shake their hair down.

This nine perhaps could become a 10.

So I have hope that we can still do better.

I'm feeling, thank you, English, Nick, for filling in for the

over-mollyed EDM lover, Jared Yamamoto. He's probably still lying somewhere in the

infield of Atlanta Motor Speedway. He's waiting for the next race. And Tim Andrews is here. Tim

comes in every Monday, and I don't get defensive about this. This is my point of view.

Tim comes in every Monday. I feel like he's all worked up with this social media angst. And I'm not on social media. So I don't see it.

You're not angsty. Well, I'm not in that way. I'm angsty in other ways, this crazy fear of death and all that.

I'm angsty in other ways, but not social media, angsty.

And so Tim comes in on Monday, and I don't think he does this on purpose, but I feel like he tries to get me riled up, you know, with the things that are going on.

He differently has a different look on his face on a Monday.

He goes on a Tuesday. He says things like, oh, I guess they're going to try to shut down DC today. I'm like, well, I don't

really see a whole lot of coverage. Oh, you got to put in the hashtag. Like, he's like got

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