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The Von Haessler Doctrine

The Von Haessler Doctrine: S16/EP044 - Mechanical Elves

The Von Haessler Doctrine

WSB Radio

Music, Currentevents, Daily News, Andrews, Radio, Sports, Wsb, Jared, Education, News, Vonhaessler, Society & Culture, English, Atlanta, Tim, Greg, Arts, Comedy, Music Commentary, Current, Improv, Eric, Nick, Politics, Wsbradio, Autumn, Russ, Fischer, Yamamoto, Tv & Film, Technology

4.7695 Ratings

🗓️ 6 March 2026

⏱️ 122 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Join Eric, @TimAndrewsHere, @Autopritts, @JaredYamamoto, Greg, and George LIVE on 95.5 WSB from 3pm-7pm as they chat about competing war narratives, Cinco de Mayo, RFK jr. vs. Dunkin, and so much more! *New episodes of our sister shows: The Popcast with Tim Andrews and The Nightcap with Jared Yamamoto are available as well!

Transcript

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0:00.0

Thanks for listening to the Von Hesler Doctrine podcast.

0:04.3

Follow the doctrine on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, Instagram, and Twitter for even more content.

0:14.6

Hour one of the Von Hesler Doctrine begins right now.

0:22.5

I'm your host, Eric Von Hessler.

0:27.9

Surrounded, as I am on a daily basis by the doctrinairs,

0:32.4

Tim Andrews is here, Autumn Fisher is here,

0:36.0

George Clark is here, Jerry Yamamoto is here. What the f*** is happening? That's what I, that's what everybody wants to know. Thank you, Marjorie. Yeah, yeah. What's you asking the question? What the a thing is happening? I mean, for real. I got it, yes. What is happening to my W-SB. No, no, no. She was asking about the country, but she wasn't. Oh. I mean, but still, what? Where am I? What the a-h-hapening? I guess we could, we could start there. By the way, I was told us I was walking. Oh, good news. Christy Noam got fired. She didn't get fired. She got demoted. Or I don't know. Maybe she got... I call it a lateral promotion.

1:18.6

That's right, because she's going to become the head of an agency that's not going to exist until this Saturday when you tell us...

1:25.5

Yeah, what's it called? It's called... The Shield of the America.

1:28.3

The Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas.

1:31.3

The Shield of the Americas.

1:33.3

You like that one?

1:34.3

The Shield of the Envoy of the American Shield.

1:37.3

Well, she's the envoy, but they're setting up the Shield of the Americas, which only says to me,

1:43.3

hey, intelligence agencies,

1:45.9

all 175 of you, green flag, go into the Americas, and let's knock over.

1:53.6

Hey, let's just identify any government in South America or Central America that we don't dig.

2:00.0

Don't forget the Caribbean.

2:01.2

And let's just get in there and shield those Americas, yo. In other words, intelligence

2:07.2

agencies. I remember when Bruce Springsteen famously said, bootleggers, let your tapes roll.

2:14.8

To me, this is intelligence agencies. Let the governments we don't like role. That's right,

2:22.5

ladies and gentlemen. We're going to be involved all over the place, but Putin's the bad guy.

...

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