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Hour one of the Von Hessler Doctrine begins right now.

I'm your host, Eric Von Hessler.

Not alone.

We've got them old doctrinares.

Tim Andrews is here.

Autumn Fisher is here.

George Clark is here. English Nick is here. Jared Yamamoto

is here. A little... So, you know, we have some complaints. Oh. Well, you're one of the one who has

the complaint. Can I ask a question? When you say them old doctrinares. They're old. Obviously,

me and Tim are the oldest. Yeah. I meant

O-L-E. Like, oh, like Smith's old. Oh, that's actually, no, that's O-L-D-E. Or O-L-L-A. That's what I mean. Not O-L-L-A. Not O-L-L-A. O-L-L-A. Olle, Olle, Oleg, O'le.

Hey, FIFA's coming in a town

and nobody can afford tickets.

Isn't that great?

Isn't that great? Olle, Olle, Olle, Olle. O'le, O'le. Hey, FIFA's coming in time and nobody can afford tickets.

Isn't that great? Isn't that great? She, I'm so peoed about all that. All right now. America 250s. You're an American now. Let me tell you so. You're an American now. It's time to stop caring about soccer. Okay. The exciting teams, right, Jared?

Americans should care.

Yeah, we don't get...

There's a possibility that we could get USA,

but it would be like down in the... Yeah, but USA is not a very good soccer team. I love my country, don't get me wrong, but as from the point of view of soccer, let's not... Come on, you know soccer better than I do. Got to believe,, Eric. You got to believe. Come on. No. No.

...