These people just make noise and basically waste our time.

Dear members of the media and the public, I welcome you.

Hour one of this week's Monday edition of the Von Hessler Doctrine begins right now.

I'm your host, Eric von Hassler.

We've got most of the doctrinares, not all.

We have Tim Andrews is here.

Autumn Fisher is here.

No George Clark once again.

He's traveling back from Skank Fest.

De-skanking.

He's de-skanking.

But we do have the great Colby richardson with us in his place and of course the handsomest producer in all of history of all

producery i hadn't said that in all history i was like wow that all of history i mean you

you don't hold a candle to fabio i think that's obvious so uh just don't forget about linda She's pretty. Well, I'm going with the fellers. As long as she doesn't talk. I'm just going with the fellers in radio, which makes it a little bit easier. Were you about to call me your radio eminence? No, I was not going to call you my radio eminence. All right, I'll take it off the air.

All right, very good, your radio eminence. Thank you. You know, just as I was drinking this, this little soft drink before I started. Uh-oh, Red Bull time. Long night? You know, not a long night. Actually got sleep, got to bed pretty early. I think I got a little inebriated yesterday afternoon.

I just kind of kept a long night. Actually got sleep, got to bed pretty early. I think I got a little inebriated

yesterday afternoon. I just kind of kept going and going and going. Woke up with a cobweb or two

in the old brain. But as I was drinking this, I've been drinking Red Bull for a long time,

and I usually say, boy, it reminds me of baby aspirin when I was a kid,

like if you carbonated baby aspirin.

But as I was drinking it today, I got another thought that it actually, Red Bull actually

tastes like urinal cakes smell.

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