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These people just make noise and basically waste our time.

Dear members of the media and the public, I welcome you.

Live from the heart of Atlanta, Georgia and beyond, hour one of the Von Hessler Doctrine

begins right now.

I am your lovable, huggable,

huggable, radio chat host, Eric von Hessler.

The other voices you hear are the doctrinares.

Man of a thousand voices.

Tim Andrews.

Lady of 184.7 characters, Autumn Fisher, has the week off.

We do have The Man Behind the Glass, George Clark, and the handsomest producer in all of

producery, Jared Yamamoto.

I like these spirally, circly motions you're making today. What's going on here? I will tell you this. These are new. I am in a spirally, circulary kind of mood. I think today. I think for several of the intros there, you did multiple circles and spirals. I was moving and I was zooming. That's what I'm doing. I'm moving and I'm zooming, Jared Yamamoto.

You're a mover and a zoomer. I'm a mover and a zoomer. That's what the show is all about. I want to give the audience the hints and the tips that they need to become movers and zoomers themselves.

Because I want everyone to be as successful as this poor radio host.

Get the zoomer haircut, you know, the big puffy ball.

Oh, yeah, get that.

And also, like an aging radio host, always have a goatee.

Well, you have one.

Once your facial hair turns white, if you want to be like your favorite aging radio host, while you'll shape that and fashion that into a really cool goatee that says, yeah, I'm aging, but don't call me old. Just go to your barber and ask for the EVH. There you go. Give me the EVA. But the first thing they'll do is they'll, you know, make that two-thirds of your head bald. But let me just tell you, it's worth it. It's all worth it. For the love that you feel from the community around you. I'm starting today's show with a little, I don't know, if it's a pat on the back, because of these things I wish I was wrong.

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