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These people just make noise and basically waste our time.

Dear members of the media and the public, I welcome you. Live from the heart of Atlanta, Georgia

and beyond, hour one of the Von Hesler Doctrine begins right now. I am your lovable, huggable,

radio chat host, Eric von Hessler.

The other voices you hear are the doctrinares.

Man of a thousand voices, Tim Andrews, lady of 184.7 characters, Autumn Fisher,

the man behind the glass,

George Clark, English Nick joins us,

and the handsomest producer in all of producery, Jared Yamamoto.

And it's a good day for all of us to be behind these microphones.

Oh, okay. I wanted to say

I was good,

there was a chance you were going to get punched in the face.

And, you know, I'm not a violent man.

No.

But when I saw the story put into the slack

by the Jared Yamamoto,

uh-oh.

That today is the day that Duncan launches the pumpkin spice latte.

I thought to myself, if I introduced this kid and the first thing he does is start to get really excited about a spicy pumpkin latte,

...