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These people just make noise and basically waste our time.

Dear members of the media and the public, I welcome you.

Live from the heart of Atlanta, Georgia and beyond, hour one of the Von Hessler Doctrine

begins right now.

I am your lovable, huggable.

Radio chat host, Eric von Hessler.

The other voices you hear are the doctrinares.

Man of a thousand voices, Tim Andrews,

Lady of 184.7 characters, Autumn Fisher, the man behind the glass, George Clark,

and the handsomest producer in all of producery, Jared Yamamoto.

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, not all. Are we starting the show like this? I guess we have to because we're a news and information station.

I can't protect this audience. I try. I try to come in here and, you know, jangle shiny keys in front of people and say, hey, look away from the apocalypse. It's obviously

happening to your world and your society. I try. I try to paper over the cracks as much as I can.

But the doomsday clock has been reset. That's right. And it's been reset, I think, from like

91 seconds. From 90 seconds think, from like 91 seconds.

From 90 seconds to 89 seconds.

89 seconds.

We only have, we only have 89 seconds left before the end of the... Am I misunderstanding this?

I think this, from the time you hear about it, there's only 89 seconds left.

That's correct.

...