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Live from the heart of Atlanta, Georgia and beyond, hour one of the Von Hessler Doctrine begins right now.

I am your lovable, huggable, radio chat host Eric von Hessler.

The other voices you hear are the doctrinares.

Man of a thousand voices, Tim Andrews, lady of a hundred and I don't know, 74, 75 point-free characters,

Autumn Fisher, the man behind the glass, George Clark, and the handsomest producer in all of producery, Jared Yamamoto.

You'll have to forgive me today, Eric. I'm a little tired.

Oh, well, you're forgiven.

Thank you. I appreciate it. I listened to Cowboy Carter all night last night.

Oh, my goodness.

You know what? It's been getting me in the blue team.

That is the name of the new country album by lauded country artist, Beyonce.

Here we go.

Of course it is. Well, she's got a great voice. It doesn't matter. I think it's kind of weird. Kind of a cool-sounding song. Of course it is.

Well, she's got a great voice.

It doesn't matter.

I think it's kind of weird.

Kind of a dumb song, but she's got a great voice.

She does.

She's a great voice, so that kind of covers over everything.

...