The Upside of Our Parents' Divorce

Modern Love

The New York Times

Love, New York Times, Nytimes, Essay, Loss, Storytelling, Society & Culture, Redemption, Nyt

4.3 • 9K Ratings

🗓️ 14 July 2021

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What’s the secret to sibling success? Apparently, an ugly divorce. At least, that’s how it went down for Ellen Umansky and her two brothers. Ellen’s parents separated when she was 9. “They loved us deeply, but there were battles to be won — emotional, reputational, financial,” Ellen wrote in her Modern Love essay. As Ellen and her brothers were flung into a new reality of parental feuds and convoluted calendar arrangements, her brothers became her “one constant and comfort.” Today’s episode is about “Team Umansky,” as Ellen’s husband calls them, a unit that has stuck together from adolescence through adulthood.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Love now into your phone, love, my eyes now, love.
0:07.0	It was stronger than anything else.
0:09.0	You were in love?
0:10.0	And I love you more than anything.
0:13.0	You're smart.
0:16.0	From The New York Times, I'm Dan Jones.
0:18.0	And I'm Mia Lee.
0:19.0	This is the Modern Love podcast.
0:23.0	This week's essay really surprised me in how it explores what creates, you know, real
0:29.0	lasting bonds.
0:30.0	And now sometimes those bonds come from going through really hard times together.
0:35.0	The essay is called The Secret to Sibling Success.
0:40.0	It's written by Ellen Yumansky and read by Kirsten Potter.
1:01.0	Years ago, my brother and I attended the wedding of a childhood friend held on a high floor
1:06.2	of a stylish San Francisco hotel.
1:09.6	You were standing by the floor to ceiling windows joking with each other when the sister
1:13.6	of the groom approached.
1:16.7	You guys are so close, she said.
1:19.7	It must be nice.
1:21.2	Tell me, what can I do to make my daughters as close as you are?
1:26.1	Her tone was light, but her eyes were searching.
1:30.0	You wanna know?
	...

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