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Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

The Upper Limit Problem (Katie Hendricks, PhD)

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

Elise Loehnen

Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Self-improvement, Education

4.8900 Ratings

🗓️ 22 August 2024

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dr. Katie Hendricks is the co-founder of The Hendricks Institute and the co-author of 12 books, including the bestseller, Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment. Katie and her husband, Gay, have been leading seminars and workshops for individuals and couples for decades—moving them from their definition of co-dependence into co-commitment. We touch on it in our conversation, but their definition of co-dependence is the only one I’ve heard that makes sense to me as they suggest co-dependence at its simplest is when your behavior is determined by someone else’s—when you are adjusting yourself around someone else in a way that is a disservice to the relationship. Instead, they argue for co-commitment, where everyone takes complete responsibility for their own actions and their own lives. They coach a lot of tools that I love to talk about on this podcast, including the Drama Triangle, and they also coined the concept of the Upper Limit Problem, which is our tendency—just when things are going really well–to self-sabotage. That’s a big focus of our conversation today. MORE FROM KATIE HENDRICKS, PhD: Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment The Conscious Heart: Seven Soul-Choices that Create Your Relationship Destiny The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks, PhD The Hendricks Institute Foundation for Conscious Living Follow Katie & Gay on Instagram To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, it's Elise Loonen, host of Pulling the Thread.

0:03.4

Today, I'm joined by Katie Hendricks, co-author of Conscious Loving and co-founder of the Hendricks Institute.

0:13.2

You know what that is.

0:15.8

An ice-cold beer.

0:17.7

What's different?

0:20.5

It's Budweiser. a perfect beer for party season.

0:24.6

Best enjoyed with your best buds.

0:30.6

Cheers to that.

0:32.6

Budweiser, like no other.

0:35.6

Please drink responsibly. For the facts, visit drinkaware.com.

0:38.8

Okay.

0:39.2

Hi, it's Elise Luna.

0:52.6

On this show, we pull apart the web in which we all live to understand who we are and why we're here.

1:01.2

Pulling the thread is about big questions, why we do what we do, how we can understand our own experiences within a larger spiritual and historical context, the ways in which we might begin to understand

1:12.2

ourselves and each other better, and what's required to heal ourselves in our world. I'll be joined

1:18.1

in conversation by luminaries and wise elders, those who have laid tracks in their work and lives to

1:23.3

help us bring meaning and understanding to a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming.

1:28.9

My hope is that these conversations spark moments of resonance and plant tiny seeds of awareness

1:34.0

so that we might all collectively learn and grow.

1:39.3

The whole sense, though, of the upper limit problem is instead of feeling good and then feeling bad

1:46.4

which is how we think it's supposed to work you feel good and then you forget to go to your

1:52.3

yoga class and then you start eating things that aren't good for you and pretty soon you're

...

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