The truth about unwanted arousal | Emily Nagoski
TED Talks Daily
TED
4.1 • 12.1K Ratings
🗓️ 11 May 2018
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Sex educator Emily Nagoski breaks down one of the most dangerous myths about sex and introduces us to the science behind arousal nonconcordance: when there's a disconnect between physical response and the experience of pleasure and desire. Talking about such intimate, private moments can feel awkward or difficult, yet in this straightforward talk Nagoski urges all of us to share this crucial information with someone -- judges, lawyers, partners, kids. "With every brave conversation we have, we make the world that little bit better," says Nagoski.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This TED Talk features sex educator Emily Nagoski recorded live at TED 2018. |
| 0:06.7 | This talk contains mature content and language. Disgression is advised. |
| 0:13.2 | My specialty as a sex educator is I bring the science. |
| 0:19.0 | But my first and most important job is that I stay neutral when I talk about anything sex-related. |
| 0:25.6 | No embarrassment, no titillation, no judgment, no shame. |
| 0:29.7 | No matter where I am, no matter what question you ask me. |
| 0:35.3 | There was at an end of a conference in a hotel lobby once. |
| 0:37.8 | I'm literally on my way out of the door, |
| 0:39.3 | and a colleague chases me down. |
| 0:40.6 | Emily, Emily, I just have a really quick question. |
| 0:42.8 | Um, a friend of mine wants to know if it's possible to get addicted to her vibrator. |
| 0:50.9 | The answer is no, but it is possible to get spoiled. |
| 0:55.0 | A different conference is one in an outdoor tropical paradise. |
| 0:58.0 | I'm at the breakfast buffet, and a couple approaches me. |
| 1:02.0 | Hi, Emily, we're sorry to interrupt you, but we just wanted to ask a quick question about premature ejaculation. |
| 1:09.0 | Sure, let me tell you about the stop-start technique. That is my life. about premature ejaculation? Sure. |
| 1:12.8 | Let me tell you about the stop-start technique. |
| 1:14.8 | That is my life. |
| 1:19.0 | I stay neutral when other people might squick. |
| 1:22.5 | Squick is an emotion that combines surprise with embarrassment plus some disgust |
| 1:26.0 | and not knowing what to do with your hands. |
| 1:30.5 | So if it's, and it's a product, the reason you experience it is because you spend the first two decades of your life, |
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