The Truth About Divorce in Christian Marriages: What They Don’t Tell You From the Pulpit [325]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Narcissism, Christianity, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Spiritual, Christian, Self-improvement, Education, Divorce, Marriage

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 29 April 2025

⏱️ 14 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today we’re tackling a topic that's kept too many women trapped in painful marriages: divorce. If you've ever been told "God hates divorce" or made to feel like leaving your abusive husband is somehow worse than what he's doing to you, this episode is specifically for you.

We’ll dig into some fascinating research by Dr. Valerie Hobbs on how conservative Christian sermons frame divorce - and let me tell you, what's being preached often doesn't match reality.

Here's what you'll discover in this episode:

The surprising biblical truth about divorce, including the fact that God Himself got a divorce (Jeremiah 3:8) and what this means for women in harmful marriages
How common Bible verses about divorce are routinely misinterpreted and weaponized against women seeking safety and freedom
The shocking difference between why women initiate divorce (abuse, infidelity, and substance abuse) versus men's reasons (falling out of love, different lifestyles)
How the ancient marriage certificate (ketubah) actually protected women's rights and gave them grounds for divorce - completely changing how we should understand Jesus' teachings

This isn't just theological debate - this is about real women making heart-wrenching decisions every day. I've walked this path myself, and I know the spiritual anguish of believing God wants you to stay in a destructive marriage.

If you're questioning what you've been taught about divorce, experiencing emotional or spiritual abuse, or supporting someone who is, please listen to this episode. You'll discover that God cares about your emotional and spiritual safety and wellbeing, and that leaving an abusive marriage just might be the most faithful thing you can do.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Dr. Valerie Hobbs' groundbreaking study that I used for this episode, "The Discourse of Divorce in Conservative Christian Sermons."
Some related Flying Free Podcast episodes you may be interested in: “God Doesn’t Hate ALL Divorce,” “How Do I Know if Divorce Is the Right Choice for Me?” and “How To Tell Your Kids You’re Getting Divorced.”

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying FreeNow.com, and you're listening to the Flying Free
0:07.7	podcast, a support resource for women of faith looking for hope and healing from hidden
0:14.1	emotional and spiritual abuse.
0:18.1	If you've ever been told that God hates divorce or that leaving your abusive husband is somehow
0:24.8	worse than what he's doing to you, you're in the right place.
0:30.5	Welcome to episode 325 of the Flying Free Podcast.
0:35.9	You know, there are a lot of things we're told in church,
0:39.3	and then there are all the things they conveniently leave out. Today, we're tackling one of
0:45.3	those hush-hush topics, divorce, especially for women in emotionally and spiritually abusive
0:52.2	marriages. And before you ask, no, this is not just my opinion.
0:57.8	We're bringing in some hard-hitting research today, specifically from Dr. Valerie Hobbs study,
1:03.6	the discourse of divorce in conservative Christian sermons. This study lays out exactly how pastors frame divorce in their sermons. And,
1:17.0	spoiler alert, it's not always in line with reality. Dr. Valerie Hobbs, a researcher at the University
1:25.2	of Sheffield, went deep into conservative Christian sermons to find out
1:29.8	exactly how pastors talk about divorce. And what did she find? Well, honestly, it's a mix of yikes
1:38.8	and are we still really doing this? Here's what she uncovered. First of all, divorce is a highly restricted
1:47.6	space. So in these sermons, divorce is portrayed as practically impossible to justify.
1:55.2	Pastors go all in on the rules and restrictions, making women feel like they have to stay married no matter what.
2:03.3	The second thing she uncovered is divorce as male.
2:07.8	Here's where it gets interesting.
2:09.6	These sermons overwhelmingly talk about divorce as something men initiate.
2:16.2	Women are rarely, if ever, mentioned as active agents in the process,
	...

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