The Trick to Finally Becoming an Adult

We Can Do Hard Things

Glennon Doyle & Audacy

Society & Culture, Relationships, Education, Self-improvement

4.8 • 41.1K Ratings

🗓️ 22 July 2025

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

430. The Trick to Finally Becoming an Adult Glennon, Abby, and Amanda revisit the six family roles, uncover which ones they've each lived out, and share how they're working to heal and grow beyond them. -How shifting some of their family roles is shifting Glennon and Amanda’s personal dynamic; -The schism rejecting a family role can create; -Why apologies you get from your family of origin might not be resonating; and -How Glennon stopped thinking she was born ‘broken’ and how you can, too. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things.
0:10.1	If you have not listened to last Tuesdays, episode 428, family roles, which part did you play?
0:17.5	Please do.
0:18.4	We are discussing today something that is, oh my God, it's just got to be one of the
0:23.7	most important answers to why are we the way we are. And what that is is family roles, meaning
0:31.3	we live in ecosystems. We're born into ecosystems, every single one of us. Our family shape, size, all of it is different,
0:39.1	but there's some kind of system we're born into. And in order to keep that system in homeostasis,
0:45.5	everyone is assigned or takes on themselves a role, a family role. Okay. And that role,
0:53.2	we play and play until we are so typecast that we become
0:56.6	these one-dimensional human beings. And at some point in our life, we realize that in order to have
1:01.7	full lives, we are going to have to step out of this character and fight our way to wholeness,
1:07.6	to fullness, which is an incredibly complicated and difficult and harrowing journey.
1:13.7	So can you, Amanda, briefly go through the six roles that have been identified, and then
1:22.9	let's all discuss where we found ourselves in these roles? Okay, super quick. The first one's the hero, we found ourselves. Great. In these roles.
1:28.5	Okay, super quick.
1:29.5	The first one's the hero, the perfect one.
1:31.5	They're the ones who, through their accomplishments, are proving that despite anything
1:36.3	that's going on internally, the family must be okay because look at this shiny, bright
1:41.1	little trophy over here.
1:42.7	Second one is scapegoat black sheep or rebel. This is the person who is
1:47.5	the collar of bullshit in the family. They are externalizing an angry action-based way that they
1:57.5	don't think that what's happening in the family is right. They are like the screw up of the family.
	...

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