The Trans Leukemia Orchestra
Distorted View Daily: NSFW Comedy, Weird News & Internet Oddities
Tim Henson
4.7 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 20 May 2026
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
🔥 Episode Summary Today’s episode spirals from fake vampire disorders and “trans leukemia” roleplay into a Walmart butt-eating confrontation, a McDonald’s fry contamination revenge plot, and a family receiving bonus human ashes inside an Amazon urn. Also: music designed specifically for fucking cars. 🚗 Faster Than Sex: The Car-Fucking Album Tim discovers a bizarre non-AI […]
The post The Trans Leukemia Orchestra first appeared on Distorted View Daily.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Freaks, it's Wednesday, May 20th. |
| 0:03.7 | 20th, coming up on the program today, I identify as a transleukemian. |
| 0:08.2 | From now on, you refer to me as a child with cancer. |
| 0:11.1 | Thank you. |
| 0:11.7 | Plus, music to fuck your cars, too, and serving Mick pre-chewed French fries at the Golden Arches. |
| 0:17.9 | All this, for your voicemails. |
| 0:19.8 | Daddy! |
| 0:24.1 | Distorted View Daily proudly presents an elderly man versus a parking garage toll booth. |
| 0:31.4 | I'm terribly sorry, sir, if it's not accepting your quarters, it doesn't have an amount for you set up? |
| 0:39.2 | No, ma'am. What am I doing here? I want to get out of here. |
| 0:42.7 | Okay. |
| 0:45.8 | It said 30 cents for cars, right? |
| 0:49.2 | No, sir. |
| 0:50.9 | What, ma'am? |
| 0:52.0 | Okay, I'm terribly sorry, sir. It's 70 cents. All right, 70 cents. I still can't put the quarters in. Okay, I got a quarter. The quarters will not go in the slot. They will now, sir. They will now. Yes, because you didn't have a price put up there yet. All right, well, I didn't know. Okay, are we done now? You have 20 more cents. |
| 1:12.2 | You said 70, says they're putting three quarters. |
| 1:15.0 | Okay, one must have followed through. |
| 1:17.5 | What, no? |
| 1:18.9 | Yeah, I did follow through for God damn. |
| 1:21.3 | This is unbelievable. |
| 1:24.3 | Okay, all right. |
| 1:26.4 | It fell through again. Okay. |
... |
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