Hey grief gang, welcome to dying laughing. I'm your host, Jesse May, and today I have something special from The Vault.

It's a really raw episode I recorded in my sister's backyard just a couple weeks after my mom died back in 2020,

and it was a part of my original grief survival guide mini seriesseries on my previous podcast, Sharp Tongue.

In it, I basically was surviving the only way I knew at the time,

drinking red wine out of a Yeti cup, smoking weed, and trying to make sense of a world

that suddenly looked completely different.

I talk about what it felt like to face my mom's birthday when she was gone, about grief brain and how we distract ourselves from grief and about the strange mix of freedom and heartbreak that comes with a loss.

It's raw, unpolished, and very honest, and I wanted to bring it here to dying laughing because grief doesn't expire.

And sometimes the most comforting thing is hearing someone else fumble through what you're fumbling through in life as well.

So here it is my second stage of grief, day drinking and shock and anger, which I called Shangri-R-La.

Hope you enjoy.

We are here. We're doing it. It's happening. It's a true situation.

It's my mother's birthday.

And she's not here. She's dead.

Gonna be a lot of dark humor on this podcast, folks.

This is a grief survival guide by yours truly.

I'm a fucking pro. I'm out here at my sister's nature reserve and I am day drinking. I'm drinking some, I got some of my favorite wine

to deal with the grief. I know it's not necessarily the healthiest approach, but you know what?

Fuck it. 2020, am I right? My Our Daily Cab, organic, favorite wine, if you're somebody who's unfortunately like me

developed wine sensitivities for some fucking reason, thanks a lot, universe, just when I need you.

Just when I need you, you take it away.

But luckily, I've got my organic wine and my cute little,

...