The Squid: Sketch a Minute
Comedy of the Week
BBC
3.8 • 2.8K Ratings
🗓️ 12 January 2026
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Rapid-fire sketch show featuring original comedy sketches from breakout online stars The Squid.
Taking listeners from Michaelangelo repainting his spare bedroom, to the Scooby Doo gang buying Velma contact lenses for her birthday, each sketch is a fun and unpredictable concept rooted in The Squid’s trademark dry humour.
The Squid are a Manchester-based comedy trio made up of writers/performers Liam Shaw, Zoe Freeman and Jack Holding. They have been creating one-minute-long comedy sketches for the last two years, which have gained them 151,000 followers on TikTok, 205,000 on Instagram, and 12 on Facebook.
A Hat Trick production for BBC Radio 4
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. |
| 0:07.1 | The Traitors Uncloaked is the only place you'll see players react as they find out who's been deceiving them. |
| 0:12.6 | That is brilliant. |
| 0:14.9 | It's the only place for official behind the scenes deep dives into the latest plot twists. |
| 0:19.3 | And it's the only place where we chat to famous fans and players from series gone by. |
| 0:23.8 | I wouldn't want to be a traitor. |
| 0:25.3 | Oh, it's the best part of. |
| 0:26.3 | That's what a traitor would say. |
| 0:28.4 | The traitors uncloked, the official visualised companion podcast with me, Ed Gamble. |
| 0:33.2 | Watch on Eye Player, listen for more on BBC Sounds. |
| 0:36.5 | And now on BBC Radio 4, it's time for The Squid. |
| 0:40.6 | Sketch a Minute. |
| 0:47.3 | She's a jolly good fellow, and so say all of us. |
| 0:52.9 | Happy birthday, Velma. |
| 1:27.6 | Happy birthday. Thank you, Fred. Scoove, or you shouldn't have. Nice from my whole gang, all right. Scooby's idea, actually. Rare. It's contact lenses. I've got my glasses though, haven't I? Yeah. I think we just thought after that whole vampire incident the other week, sometimes, you know when we're out solving a mystery and your glasses get knocked off onto the floor? Yeah. And then you're doing a lot of scrambling around on your hands and knees going, where's my glasses, where's my glasses? Yeah. Well, we just thought it can sometimes hold us up a little bit and perhaps contact lenses would be more ideal for when we're on a mission. Well, do you not like my glasses? Well, they're a bit... Of course we like your glasses. |
| 1:28.7 | We all love your glasses, don't we guys? Yeah, yeah. I suppose when we're out solving a mystery, they can just get targeted by ghouls and mummies and aliens, etc, and they're sometimes viewed as our Achilles' heel. How am I the Achilles' heel? We've got a smelly dog who only eats biscuits |
| 1:45.0 | A potter whose munchies are so bad |
| 1:47.2 | He also eats the dog bag How am I the Achilles heel? We've got a smelly dog who only eats biscuits. |
| 1:45.3 | Oh, round. |
| 1:46.0 | A pot head whose munchies are so bad. He also eats the dog biscuits. We've got, and I'm sorry Daphne, but a bimbo who has no help whatsoever. Right. And she's only here to get in your pants, Fred. What? No. What, she said that herself? I'm the only one here with an actual degree. Right, come on, let's not get nasty. |
| 1:59.6 | Look, if you really don't want them... |
| 2:01.2 | I don't. |
... |
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