This story is dedicated to Henry in New York City, whose family generously supports us.

The Spy Who Never Was.

A Wicked Uncle's Story for Story Norrie.

Hello, this is Richard, and I'm here with a brand new story about Jeremy, Jemima and their

wicked uncle Jeff. One Friday night, Dad went out to the corner shop to buy popcorn, chocolate

coated peanuts and fizzy drinks.

When he got back, the family settled down to watch a movie.

Ever since Dad had converted the back room into a TV den, it had become their favourite spot

to spend the evening.

He had set it up with two cosy sofas, low lights and a huge

flat screen. As Dad pointed out, watching a home movie could be almost as exciting as going to the

cinema and it was a lot cheaper. Jemima chose a film called The Spy Who Proposed to Me,

about some kids who hated their mother's new fiancée.

They thought he was far too boring to be their stepfather,

and no replacement for their real dad,

who had died tragically while making a TV documentary about

swimming with sharks. As far as they knew, the new guy's job was importing electric clippers

for grooming cats and dogs. He wore thick glasses, wore spotty bow ties, and kept goldfish in a big tank.

His idea of excitement was to visit the local garden centre to pick out some pot plants.

Little did they realise that secretly this goofy geek was a spy.

He didn't really spend his time away, demonstrating electric clippers at cat-and-dog shows,

but actually travelled the world fighting master criminals.

...