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The Dirtbag Diaries

The Shorts--Exit Strategy

The Dirtbag Diaries

Duct Tape Then Beer

Wilderness, Sports

4.72.7K Ratings

🗓️ 23 June 2017

⏱️ 17 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

"Three days from the end of the trip, I started to panic," writes Emma Walker. "I still didn't know what to do with my summer, let alone the rest of my life. Inspiration, as I'd imagined it, hadn't struck. Now, I had to face the realization that I didn't have an exit strategy. This had been it, and it would inevitably end." The summer after her first year of graduate school, Emma enrolled in an Alaska Pacific University Expedition Mountaineering course. She told her family she signed up because it meant she'd earn graduate credits to traipse around the Harding Icefield. But she also hoped the trip would bring some clarity on the bigger questions, like whether or not grad school had been a mistake and what she was still doing in Alaska. No lightning bolts of clarity struck during her trip, but looking back a year later, she could see that, perhaps, her month in the Alaska mountains had given her the inspiration she needed after all.   You can find more of Emma's writing at myalaskanodyssey.com or listen to her first Short, "I Poo: A Love Story"

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

There is no way to quietly open the packaging of a Snickers bar.

0:19.4

It's even harder when your hands are cold and somehow harder still when you're trying

0:24.1

desperately not to wake your tent mates in the middle of the night.

0:28.5

I unzip the chest pocket of my puffy jacket.

0:31.5

Serpitiously removed the candy bar I'd been warming there all night and did my best not

0:35.9

to fumble with the wrapper.

0:37.7

Finally, feeling utterly pleased with myself, I'd opened it enough to take a bite.

0:43.8

I nod through the partially frozen candy without making a peep, then cozyed up in my

0:47.9

zero-degree sleeping bag and listened to the creaking, groaning glacier as I waited for

0:52.4

my shivering to subside.

0:55.2

What the hell am I doing here I wondered as I drifted in and out of sleep?

0:59.9

What am I doing, perched at the edge of planet hot, stuffed in a tent between two virtual

1:04.5

strangers, miles from the nearest road, and farther from anyone I know.

1:15.1

I didn't have an answer the next morning, but I did have chocolate all over my face.

1:19.3

I didn't realize it until my tent mate, Gill, asked how my candy bar supply was.

1:24.0

I shrugged non-committally, hoping not to share.

1:27.0

I think there's some in your hair, he laughed.

1:30.4

Everyone was feeling chipper that morning.

1:32.4

We'd spent a miserable afternoon fearing loads of supplies at a steep, alder-choked hillside,

1:37.9

then another few days crossing the Kenae National Wildlife Refuge to get to the base of the

1:41.7

ski-lack glacier.

1:43.1

Here, we set up our tents and were promptly caught in a four-day storm.

...

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