The Shame That Silenced Me For 30 Years: Strictly’s Ore Oduba “I’m Sharing This To Save My Children”

We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson

FlightStory

Leisure, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 November 2025

⏱️ 119 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Strictly Come Dancing winner Ore Oduba opens up about addiction for the first time - and the secret he’s carried for over 30 years.Content warning: This episode includes discussion of suicide and addiction. In this powerful and deeply moving conversation, Ore shares how he was first exposed at just nine years old - and the lifelong impact it had on his identity, confidence, and relationships. He also reflects on the emotional scars of growing up in fear, the silence he carried into adulthood, and the private battles behind his public success. Ore shares: ◽ Why he lived in fear of his father for years ◽ How his upbringing shaped his confidence, his career - and his silence ◽ The grief of losing his father and sister in such a short space of time ◽ How he felt like he was dying inside - while living what looked like a “perfect” life ◽ How Strictly Come Dancing became his awakening ◽ Why the West End reignited his joy and love for performing ◽ Why he struggled to open up, even to those closest to him ◽ How he’s learning to rewrite the story for himself, and for his children Ore Oduba, We Need To Talk. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. We’ve included support charities below: Samaritans - call on 116 123 or visit https://g2ul0.app.link/xghDmmYV4Wb Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM): https://g2ul0.app.link/npaQKXUV4Wb Naked Truth Project: https://g2ul0.app.link/JPSkS5mNZXb Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod (00:00) Intro (03:03) Growing Up in Dorset (06:11) Black Identity in 1990s Dorset (11:18) Childhood and Family Dynamics (14:08) Did Ore Feel Loved? (16:35) Early Love for Performing (20:48) Starting Out in TV Presenting (28:17) Ore on Newsround (32:38) Handling Media Scrutiny (34:22) Winning Strictly Come Dancing (45:22) Life After Strictly (47:41) Hiding Behind a Facade (53:43) Relationship With His Brother (1:03:30) Losing His Sister (1:07:47) Mental Health and Identity (1:12:35) Learning of His Father’s Death (1:15:32) Ore’s 30-Year Addiction Struggle (1:32:43) Adult Content Use Among Young People (1:45:05) Message From Strictly’s Joanne Clifton (1:47:25) Childhood Photo Surprise (1:51:33) Most Memorable Moment (1:55:33) Paul’s Takeaways Sponsored by: Adobe Express: https://ADOBE.LY/PAUL Get Your Tickets to the Love Better Tour: https://bit.ly/lovebetter-YT Birmingham - https://g2ul0.app.link/pJIj4XShrXb Manchester - https://g2ul0.app.link/4SQwKDXhrXb Brighton - https://g2ul0.app.link/BO71HSZhrXb London - https://g2ul0.app.link/gm6iB91hrXb Sync-ID MB01SOP0ZYTDXBS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I was nine when I was introduced to pornography.
0:03.0	That's when my addiction started.
0:05.0	I never imagined I was ever share this with anyone.
0:09.0	Growing up, I became myself on stage.
0:11.0	So the stage saved you.
0:12.0	I remember joining secondary school and I said,
0:14.0	I'd love to do a solo performance
0:16.0	and perform as Victoria Beckham,
0:17.0	wearing platform shoes, cropped up, bandana.
0:20.0	And I was having the time of my life.
0:22.9	And your father? He ruled by fear. And so I was terrified of him until the contract came through
0:28.5	from the BBC. Finally, I had achieved something that matters. When you found out that you weren't
0:33.6	strictly, truly how did you feel with them? I had a great family. I had two kids.
0:38.3	The hashtag couple's goals. It's what people are buying into. But actually, I was slowly dying inside,
0:45.1	Paul. The person that was me was signed to scream, I can't do this anymore. So in this period,
0:51.5	what was actually happening? Gosh, I received a text message.
0:55.0	I remember getting the news five minutes before going on stage.
0:58.0	I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.
1:01.0	I put the phone down.
1:03.0	And I had to go on stage to sing.
1:07.0	Thank goodness that I found means to go, here's who you really were that was suppressed.
1:13.6	The rest of my life begins the day after this as. What part of you would you like us to see that we
	...

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