The music man is a dog. He is here to sell trombones that don't exist and get his dick wet.

Fun fact, the name Flanders descends from the old English word,

plot, meaning filled with water. And as the human body is 50 to 60 percent water,

Ned Flanders is certainly that. Although more importantly, I'm pretty sure that's the

reason that the Holladette character made of water that Naomi Wildman plays with on Star Trek

Voyager is named Flotter. Flotter. Now there's a name I haven't heard in a while. Oh, and Flotilla.

Wait, how much water's in a tortilla?

Anyhow, I'm your host, Michael Swame, and that's the kind of info-rich yet somewhat disjointed rambling you can expect from The Simpsons taught me everything.

This whole month of June, we're going to be diving uncomfortably deeply into The Music Man.

Inspiration for the A-plot from the classic Simpsons episode, Marge versus the Monorail.

Along the way, we'll end up learning about the Great Depression, invention of credit,

the rise of car culture, comedy of Buddy Hackett, Rubiote of Omar Kayam, Books of Eleanor

Glenn, Death of the American Dream, Stupid Slang, Stupid

Cons, and Mass.

God damn hysteria.

Among other things, I'll be joined by great folks like Daniel Radford from Dimension 20

and Honest Trailers, Brian Brushwood of Scam School and the World's Greatest Khan, and

fellow cracked diasporist Robert Evans Evans host of Behind the Bastards.

So look out for those.

Normally, this is where I dive right in and introduce our guest today, and indeed today's

is a doozy.

But since it's our very first episode, I am going to explain what the show is about and where

...