The Science Of Small Talk: Secrets from Over 10,000 Hours of Conversations

The Liz Moody Podcast

Liz Moody

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 28 October 2024

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Solo episode! I’m demystifying the art and science of small talk so you can be a great conversationalist and overcome social anxiety at parties (like those upcoming holiday parties!), work events, group dinners, and more. I think of myself as an extroverted introvert – small talk did not initially come easy to me, but I’ve learned to love it. In this solo episode, I’m giving you the tools and research that allowed me to overcome my fear of small talk. Many people say they hate small talk, but research on the subject indicates that we may like it more than we think. Small talk is a great way to connect with strangers on a human level, and because most people like it, most people want to talk to you! I’ll teach you my go-to conversation starters, conversational pointers that actually work, and more. 00:00 Introduction 2:53 The Importance Of Micro-connections 6:21 Why Do We Think We Hate Small Talk? 7:36 Initiating Conversations 10:10 Introduction Questions That Actually Work 15:22 What To Do During The Conversation 20:05 Pausing & Embracing Silence Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order Liz’s new book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now! To join The Liz Moody Podcast Club Facebook group, go to www.facebook.com/groups/thelizmoodypodcast. Connect with Liz on Instagram @lizmoody, or subscribe to her newsletter by visiting www.lizmoody.com. If you like this episode, listen to: Anyone Can Become More Optimistic—Here’s How with Dr. Sue Varma 5 Science-Backed Habits Of The World’s Most Successful People The Secret To Finding Your People, Having More Meaningful Gatherings, & Creating A Community You Love with Priya Parker The Liz Moody Podcast cover art by Zack. The Liz Moody Podcast music by Alex Ruimy. Formerly the Healthier Together Podcast. This podcast and website represents the opinions of Liz Moody and her guests to the show. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for information purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions. The Liz Moody Podcast Episode 277. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello friends and welcome to the Liz Moody podcast where every week we are sharing real science, real stories and realistic tools that actually level up every part of your life.
0:09.3	I am your host Liz Moody and I am a best-selling author and longtime journalist and today we
0:14.3	are talking about small talk which a lot of us hate but is generally an
0:19.0	unavoidable part of life whether you are going to parties or hanging out in the kitchen at work or at the grocery
0:25.2	store. I'm going to share some of the best small talk tips that I have learned from years
0:29.8	of being an introvert in some very extroverted careers,
0:33.0	including what I do now, which is talking for a living
0:35.7	here on the podcast and on social media
0:38.0	and also on stage and during networking events.
0:41.2	We are going to get very actionable as always. We will overcome
0:44.9	some of the hurdles that you might be running into. We will get into what the
0:47.9	science says and by the end you will be equipped to light up any room with your sparkling conversation.
0:55.5	But first off, a lot of us hate small talk and if I'm being very very honest I used to too
1:01.7	until recently when I learned some research that led to a reframe
1:05.8	that switched my whole perspective on it. First I'll share a little background on me.
1:10.4	I self-identify as an extroverted introvert.
1:14.0	Basically I love being around people but I find it very draining and the more people that I'm
1:18.8	around the more I need to recharge by myself later.
1:22.3	And in studies to the majority of people self-identify
1:25.1	as hating small talk, but introverts especially hate it. I used to feel like it
1:30.3	was all performative, like it basically had all of the energy draining effects of deep conversation but without any of that
1:36.9	sense of really connecting or filling my cup that a really meaningful conversation will give you.
	...

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