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The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Science of Self Control: Find Motivation, Build Willpower, and Increase Your Focus

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Relationships

4.7 • 15.3K Ratings

🗓️ 22 January 2026

⏱️ 83 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In today’s episode, you’ll learn how to get motivated, even when you don’t feel like it. If you feel unmotivated, scatter brained, or exhausted… If you keep reaching for your phone, wine, or the remote even when you want to stop… If you’re frustrated with yourself for lacking discipline…. This conversation will help you stop wasting time and finally understand why it’s so hard to do the things you know you should do. Joining Mel today is Dr. Anna Lembke, MD, who is the world’s leading expert on dopamine and compulsive behavior. Dr. Lembke is a professor of psychiatry and addiction medicine at Stanford University, chief of Stanford’s Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. She is also the New York Times bestselling author of Dopamine Nation and the upcoming Radical Surrender She has served on the boards of several state and national addiction-focused organizations, and has testified before the United States House of Representatives and Senate. But even with all of her knowledge, she will share with you: she also falls into the same traps you do! In this episode, Dr. Lembke explains the truth most people don’t understand: Modern life has trained your brain to chase constant dopamine hits, and that’s why motivation, focus, and joy feel harder than ever. But here’s the good news: you can reset your brain. Dr. Lembke walks you through the science of dopamine, pain, pleasure, and motivation, and shares a practical protocol for rebuilding focus, energy, and self-control in a world designed to hijack your attention. In this episode, you’ll learn: -The “pleasure–pain seesaw” that explains why you keep reaching for the thing you swear you’re done with -How dopamine really works (and why chasing pleasure backfires) -The hidden reason scrolling, snacking, and multitasking make you feel worse, not better -The simple but powerful way to rebalance pleasure and pain -What to do when you feel stuck in compulsive habits you “can’t quit” This is not a conversation about shame, addiction labels, or self-control. It’s about taking your brain back. If you want more energy, clarity, and motivation, and if you’re ready to stop fighting yourself and start working with your brain, this episode is for you. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page.   If you liked the episode, check out this one next: How to Create a Successful Mindset: The Science of Passion and Perseverance Connect with Mel:  Order Mel’s new product, Pure Genius Protein Get Mel’s newsletter, packed with tools, coaching, and inspiration. Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them Theory Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram Mel's TikTok Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

0:08.7

Let me ask you some. Why is it so hard to do the things you know you need to do?

0:15.8

Why can't you just get motivated to work out, eat better, stop scrolling, write the email,

0:21.9

go to bed, clean the garage, whatever it is. You want to do it. You keep telling yourself, ah, you'll start tomorrow,

0:28.0

but somehow you don't. You stay stuck. You keep scrolling. You order the takeout. You waste another

0:34.5

hour on your phone. And then you feel like crap about it.

0:38.7

Sound familiar?

0:40.0

I hear this all the time, from friends, from listeners emailing in, from my own kids, and I've lived

0:45.7

it too.

0:46.8

But the problem isn't you.

0:49.7

The problem is your brain.

0:51.9

It's been hijacked, and it continues to be hijacked. You're not unmotivated.

0:57.8

You're over-stimulated. You've been trained by modern life to chase easy dopamine that feel-good chemical

1:05.1

in your brain all day long. Food, social media, porn, gaming, constant multitasking, and that's rewired your brain

1:13.5

to avoid anything that feels hard, even when you want to do it. But here's the good news. You can

1:20.0

take your brain back. You can rebuild motivation, focus, and energy. That's why today, we're

1:26.7

talking about how to get motivated even when you don't

1:30.3

feel like it with the world's number one expert on dopamine. And the shift doesn't take a six-month

1:36.3

cleanse. You just want to take a moment and personally, It's such an honor to be together and spend this time with you. And if you're a new listener, you're here because somebody shared this with you,

2:03.3

I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins podcast family.

2:07.7

Today's guest is the world's foremost expert on dopamine and its effect on your brain and your habits.

2:14.3

I'm talking, of course, about Dr. Anna Lemke. Today, you're going to get her

...

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