The Science of Letting Go

The Science of Happiness

PRX and Greater Good Science Center

Social Sciences, Science

4.5 • 2K Ratings

🗓️ 6 November 2025

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Discover how forgiveness reshapes the brain, eases the body, and helps us move forward with greater compassion and freedom.

Summary: Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or excusing—it’s about releasing the grip of resentment so we can make room for peace. Research shows it also engages empathy, strengthens emotional regulation, and helps us reconnect with what truly matters. In this episode of The Science of Happiness, we look at how forgiveness transforms not just relationships, but our overall well-being.

How To Do This Practice:

Acknowledge the hurt: Be honest about what happened and how it affected you—avoiding or denying the pain can keep it alive.
Empathize with the other person: Try to see their humanity and what might have led them to act as they did, without excusing the harm.
Choose to forgive: Decide, for your own peace, to let go of resentment and stop letting the past control your emotions.
Offer forgiveness as a gift: Imagine extending understanding or compassion toward the person, even if they never apologize.
Commit to your choice: Write it down, share it, or reflect on it as a reminder of your intention when old feelings resurface.
Practice holding on to peace: When reminders or emotions arise, return to calm, compassion, or gratitude—strengthening forgiveness over time.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

DR. EVERETT WORTHINGTON is one of the world's leading experts on forgiveness.

Learn more about Dr. Everett Worthington here: https://www.evworthington-forgiveness.com/

DR. EMILIANA SIMON-THOMAS is a neuroscientist and Director of Science at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.

Learn more about Emiliana R. Simon-Thomas here: https://tinyurl.com/2z7mhjbm

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

The Contagious Power of Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/3x7w2s5s

Nine Steps to Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/vb7kk5ky

Why Compassion Requires Vulnerability: https://tinyurl.com/yxw4uhpf

Related Happiness Breaks:

A Science-Backed Path to Self-Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/yh2a5urt

Make Uncertainty Part of the Process: https://tinyurl.com/234u5ds7

A Note to Self on Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/y53tkn87

This episode was supported by a generous grant from the Templeton World Charity Foundation as part of a Greater Good Science Center project on "Putting the Science of Forgiveness into Practice."

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/566t8udf

Transcript

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0:00.0	This episode was supported by a generous grant from the Templeton World Charity Foundation
0:05.0	as part of a Greater Good Science Center project on putting the science of forgiveness into practice.
0:11.0	I will always kind of say forgiveness has mental health benefits to the person who forgives. It has physical health benefits, relational
0:24.2	benefits, even spiritual benefits. The empathy parts of the brain are activated when we forgive.
0:31.3	And also the frontal area that suppresses the executive functioning system that suppresses the nasty things
0:41.0	we want to do and says, no, you can't do that, you've got to do something else.
0:44.9	And then the behavioral activation system says, okay, well, what can I do?
0:51.2	People will report just these horrendous things that they were successful at forgiving,
0:57.0	and that gives them a sense of agency that they can forgive, even if they looked at this in the
1:03.0	beginning and said, my gosh, this is like jumping over a 20-foot fence. I can't possibly get over that.
1:10.0	But, you know, they can lower the fence piecemeal.
1:13.6	Forgiveness doesn't have to do all of the heavy lifting.
1:17.6	We have all fallen short. We have all done things that we don't like, and we can appreciate forgiveness.
1:24.6	It's never easy, but it becomes easier to forgive somebody else.
1:35.5	Welcome to the science of happiness. I'm Dacker Keltner. Today's episode is about something
1:40.7	that can be hard to offer to others and ourselves.
1:45.0	Forgiveness.
1:46.0	Forgiveness can be complex.
1:48.0	It's a gradual process that takes honesty, courage, and time.
1:53.0	It's also essential to our relationships and to our mental and physical health.
1:57.0	Research shows that forgiveness can lower stress, help our hearts and immune systems,
2:03.1	ease, anxiety, and depression, and even improve relationships. Our guest today is Dr. Everett
	...

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