Oh, he's cute. Mr. I can never sleep when I'm traveling. He's hugging his pillow like a sloth on a branch.

He couldn't sleep before. Now listen to him. Sounds like an elephant with a chest infection.

Well, they call him a dreamer. And now they're right.

All aboard, Mr. I can never sleep when I'm traveling.

Find all the comfort you need in the quiet lounge.

Piando Ferries, there is another way. We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick.

We are receiving this message.

We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology

to decrypt our transmissions, this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 1096 dot P.S.

717 certificate number 3776. 1-9, Certificate Number 3796, the St Helena Submarine Plot.

Because the British think they are so tough.

They think we're French Assesses, they call call us weeds and whoopsies and big girls plouses.

With respect, my emperor, we are whipsies, and we invented the tapestry, the souffle and the sweet liqueur. We will be slaughtered the minute we mince up the hill.

Do not despair. It is my firm belief that God hates the British. He will intervene miraculously and send us a glorious victory on this field of Waterloo.

I was in France earlier this summer.

Humble brag?

...