THE ROAST OF: The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

The Book Pile

Kellen Erskine and David Vance

Comedy, Arts, Books

4.8 • 598 Ratings

🗓️ 10 January 2022

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In honor of the Da Vinci Code, today’s episode description is written using Dan Brown’s prose: Chapter 1 The two podcast hosts entered the studio, with their probing blue eyes, arrestingly deep voices, and “erudite” appeal. They tasted the familiar tang of a podcast studio — an arid, deionized essence that carried a faint hint of carbon — the product of industrial, coal-filter dehumidifiers. Then a voice spoke, chillingly, “Do not record.” Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the ...

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey, everyone. Do you like Da Vinci and Codes? Want to see a book where everything about Da Vinci is wrong and every code could be broken by a child?
0:08.2	Have we got the garbage for you? Today we roast the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, or as he would call himself in an uncrackable code, Warren Bond.
0:17.8	I'm Kellanersk, and I'm a comic, a father, and if you're a member of the Illuminati or
0:23.6	the Priory of Sion, this whole episode was Dave's idea.
0:28.8	And I'm David Vance.
0:30.3	I realize today my name is an anagram for Da Vinci Code, if you're a liar, like this
0:34.9	author.
0:36.1	The Da Vinci Code is a chilling tale of secret symbols hidden in artwork and how unwarranted
0:42.0	hype can launch a book undeservedly to number one for 30 weeks.
0:47.1	And this is the book pile.
0:49.7	All right, quick reminder to please rate and review the book pile, since Kellyn has a family
0:53.2	to feed, and I'm saving up for a goldfish.
0:57.8	Listener Bennett Dinosaur says,
1:01.2	Quite possibly the most perfect podcast ever.
1:04.2	I'll be driving by myself, listening, learning, and laughing out loud.
1:07.6	Other drivers see me driving by myself with a beaming smile and wonder why I'm so
1:11.6	happy. This podcast is why I'm so happy. I imagine I'm saying that to them with his windows still up.
1:19.5	The hosts have a wonderful chemistry that would rival Madden and Summerall, Lewis and Lanshop,
1:25.0	or Statler and Waldorf.
1:28.8	Thanks, Bennett.
1:30.3	You're a good dinosaur.
1:35.1	Also, misused a maim left a very nice review and then ended with this.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Kellen Erskine and David Vance, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Kellen Erskine and David Vance and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.