Hey everyone. On the list of dumb villains has to be the guy who put his whole soul into a ring,

lost it, and who controls the only volcano where it can be destroyed and doesn't even put

like a tarp over it. Today's book is The Return of the King by J.R.R.R. Tolkien.

I'm Kellett Erskine. I'm a comic and a father who is currently in the middle of reading this and struggling to maintain a storyline to my young child where King Theodon is still alive. He's just on vacation now with Cedric Diggery.

A genuine question. Can you give me a list of all of the characters who your kids think are alive but aren't?

What's the guy's name in The Hobbit?

I couldn't even have one out of 13 dwarves die.

Well, three die, no?

It's like the leader and then his two nephews.

Oh, did they?

Did you save all three of them?

I did.

And they were all fine.

That baker's dozen of dwarves.

You did it so thoroughly that you forgot.

Okay, so three dwarves, Theodin, Cedric.

I don't know what I'm going to do when we hit book seven.

Yeah. Cedric. I don't know what I'm going to do when we hit book seven. And I'm David Vance.

I can tell Tolkien was British because he's like, you know what would solve these people's problems is a good old-fashioned king.

Return of the King ends with Aragorn and Arwen together.

And since we made fun of Twilight, I should point out when when they met, Aragorn was 20 and Arwin was 3,000.

And this is the bookpile.

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