The Respect Effect Emerson Eggerichs Ep 122

Don't Mom Alone Podcast

Kids & Family, Leisure, Parenting, Education

5 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 30 May 2016

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s not a magic formula. But almost.

This week’s guest is Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (New York Times Best Selling author of “Love & Respect”). He has opened my eyes to the high value of respect with boys & men with his newest book, “Mother and Son: The Respect Effect**”. ‘Game changer.

With this new “respect effect” perspective, interactions with my boys have changed. Before a word comes out of my mouth I’m evaluating if the tone is positive and the correction is focused on the behavior and not the person. I’ve also noticed how I alter what I say when helping them get along with one another (e.g., “Are you respecting your brother when you take the toy he is playing with?”).

I know, I know. A few weeks ago I published a parenting boys episode. I promise an interview with Sissy Goff is in the works, to help moms with girls (she leads a camp all summer. . .so we’ll be chatting in the Fall). But just like with the other parenting boys episode, whether you have sons or daughters, after listening you will understand your husband better. That’s a very good thing.

And I know, I know, I share several books on the podcast. Each of my guests is selected with a lot of thought and consideration. Deciding to only introduce you to books that I would want to read myself. But this book sits at the top of the summer reading list. Seriously. (Just ask all my friends which book they see me toting around and talking about this month 😉 ).

What we chat about:

How the popular “Love & Respect” message applies to mother & son relationships.
Recognizing that honor motivates men (and our boys).
How teen girls respond differently than teen boys to a mom’s critique.
A great definition of “respect”.
How to hold boundaries with our boys, but still respect their spirits.
A specific example of how to apply “respect talk” with your boys.
How this respect effect can be applied by teachers in the classroom.
Using the acronym “CHAIRS” to identify areas you can use respect talk.
How it’s never to late to start.

Links Mentioned:

Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs **
Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,”
Love & Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire; The Love Children Need **

**Amazon affiliate links

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	You're listening to episode 122 of the God Center Mom podcast with me, Heather McFadden.
0:08.3	And today I'm chatting with New York Times bestselling author Dr. Emerson Agerich.
0:12.8	And we're talking about the fact that there is a man in the boy who has a knee and what
0:17.4	we're talking about is confronting that behavior respectfully but also going a little bit deeper.
0:22.7	He has a knee for me to believe in him, to believe in the call that God has on him, to
0:28.0	believe in the gifts that God has given to him.
0:30.2	Now he's a child and Paul said, when I was a child, I thought as a child, that reason
0:33.7	the child I spoke as a child, but when I became an adult I did away with childish things.
0:38.7	And so we're dealing with a childish individual, we're talking about an immature person, but
0:42.9	as a mother, you speak words of respect and those honorable words are the things that
0:48.8	are going to motivate him to become the man that you longed to be.
0:53.7	You can't motivate him to become a loving man on the heels of coming across to him in
0:57.7	a way that feels disrespectful.
0:59.1	I know, I know it's another episode about mothers and sons, but I promise you, moms to
1:05.2	daughters, please still listen to this episode because Dr. Agerich, if you're not familiar,
1:10.5	he wrote the book Love and Respect.
1:12.6	It transformed millions of marital relationships because we finally understood how men and women
1:19.4	are equal but different.
1:21.3	How women can leave an argument feeling unloved and the same argument the husband can feel
1:26.0	this respected.
1:27.4	Well, after that book's release, he got contacted by so many moms of boys and how they could
1:32.8	apply this message to that relationship.
	...

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