The Relationship Therapist: "This Statistically Is The Best Age To Get Married So You Don't Get A Divorce!", "Men Should Not Split The Bill", "80% Of Women Want Men Over 6ft When Only 15% Are 6ft!"

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

FlightStory

Society & Culture, Business, Education

4.6 • 13.2K Ratings

🗓️ 11 March 2024

⏱️ 109 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Relationships and romance aren't easy, but are you making it harder than it needs to be? Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and a bestselling author, she is also the co-host of the ‘Dear Therapists’ podcast. Her New York Times bestselling books include, ‘Maybe You Should Talk to Someone’ and ‘Mr Good Enough’. In this conversation Lori and Steven discuss topics such as, why men should always pay for the date, the best age according to statistics to get married, what women really want in a man, and the simple trick to show what is missing in your relationship. (00:00) Intro (02:08) How to Live the Life You Want (05:06) Lack of Human Connections Leads to Relationship Pressure (06:21) Why the Majority Aren't Satisfied with Their Relationships (08:01) The Need to Be Understood (09:47) Why Men Struggle More Opening Up in the Relationship (16:34) Setting Unreal Expectations When Looking for a Partner (19:40) We're Too Picky on Dating Apps (24:57) High Expectations, Can They Be Lowered? (28:04) Gender Differences in Dating (33:44) The Type of People That Seek Bad Partners (35:11) How to Help Those People (36:49) Financial Differences in Dating (42:53) People Are Choosing Not to Have Kids and Get Married (49:02) What Happens When a Woman Earns More in the Relationship (51:08) The Big Debate on a First Date (56:35) Red Flags in First Dates (59:51) The Age You Marry Is Linked to Divorce Risk (01:03:32) You Need to Learn to Unknow Yourself (01:05:35) The Impact of Seeking Approval (01:12:20) When Your Friends Sabotage You When You Try to Change (01:20:46) Do Women Express More Emotion Than Men? (01:22:38) Do Our Dreams Have True Meanings? (01:25:08) The Safety of Self-Compassion (01:26:55) The Opposite of Depression Isn't Happiness (01:29:46) The Grief of Heartbreak and How to Recover (01:37:53) How to Help Someone Going Through Heartbreak (01:45:02) Last Guest Question You can find the link to the graph on age and divorce risk here: https://bit.ly/49KpKrM You can pre-order Lori’s book, ‘Maybe You Should Talk to Someone’, here: https://amzn.to/43aSMyq Follow Lori Twitter - https://bit.ly/434PAEB Instagram - https://bit.ly/3PeOVup Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/3kxINCANKsb My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now - https://smarturl.it/DOACbook Follow me: https://beacons.ai/diaryofaceo Sponsors: WHOOP: https://join.whoop.com/en-uk/CEO ZOE: http://joinzoe.com with an exclusive code CEO2024 for 10% off Uber: https://p.uber.com/creditsterms Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Some of the studies I was looking at shows that if you get married after 30,
0:03.2	each additional year of age increases your chance of divorce by 5%.
0:08.0	And I couldn't figure out why.
0:10.0	Oh, I think there are several reasons for this.
0:12.0	So first of all, Lori Gottlie,
0:14.4	renowned psychotherapists.
0:16.1	Bessanin Otho, a couples counselor,
0:18.0	who helps thousands of people find or save their relationships.
0:21.6	People use the first date as I'm supposed to feel this one thing
0:25.4	or else forget it and people will come into therapy and say,
0:28.0	I didn't feel like butterflies, so I'm not going to go out with him again.
0:31.2	People said they wouldn't go on a second date with somebody
0:34.2	because he ordered tap water.
0:36.0	He must be really cheap.
0:37.3	There was one where somebody said, oh, he did this impression
0:39.5	from Austin Powers.
0:40.7	Yeah, baby.
0:42.1	He was just nervous. He was trying to make you laugh what about he asks to split the bill
0:46.3	would that be an ick if he doesn't pay that would be a huge ick for me really but it's really important to understand why, which is...
0:55.0	Interesting.
0:56.0	Now your partner has to be your best friend.
0:58.0	You have the same interest.
	...

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