During my first week at the University of Illinois, I was having lunch with some new friends.

Suddenly, out of the blue, one of them said,

Hey Xavier, did you just draw a smiley face on your application to get in here?

Puzzled, I asked, what does that mean?

You know, you're black and probably had decent grades.

You could have just attached a smiley face and I'm sure you would have gotten in.

I stared back at him dumbfounded.

Then I just got angry.

I told him about the merit scholarships I had earned, none of which had anything to do with my race.

I was even in the honors program.

He got the picture and immediately apologized.

For about an hour I felt very proud of myself.

I told this guy where he could stick his bigotry.

Then suddenly a feeling of doubt that I had never felt before swept over me. I began to

question whether or not I belonged at the university.

Was I a diversity selection?

How about the black girl across the room?

Was she thinking the same thing about me?

Do I really deserve to be here?

I had the GPA and ACT scores to prove that I did.

I was valedictorian of my high school, which by the way was over 95% white.

Despite this, barely a week into my freshman year, I was questioning everything.

...