The Real Reason You Freeze — And How to Break Through

Negotiate Anything

American Negotiation Institute

Education, Careers, Business

4.8 • 659 Ratings

🗓️ 20 April 2025

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

You’re not weak — your nervous system is just overwhelmed. In this deeply practical episode, Kwame Christian sits down with coach and educator Jay Fields to unpack why so many of us lose ourselves in high-stakes conversations. Whether it’s people-pleasing, freezing, or shrinking to avoid conflict, Jay explains how your body’s responses hijack your ability to stay present — and what you can do about it. You’ll learn: The difference between conceptual and embodied self-awareness How to stay connected to your truth in other people’s "force fields" Practical tools to regulate your emotions and recover your voice in real time Jay-Fields.com LinkedIn Learning Courses Follow Jay on LinkedIn Contact ANI Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn The Ultimate Negotiation Guide Click here to buy your copy of How To Have Difficult Conversations About Race! Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!

Transcript

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0:00.0	The HP AIPC breaks language barriers instantly by translating up to 44 languages in real time,
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0:21.3	From LinkedIn News, I'm Jesse Hempel, host of the Hello Monday podcast.
0:26.6	Start your week with the Hello Monday podcast.
0:29.6	We'll navigate career pivots.
0:31.5	We'll learn where happiness fits in.
0:33.4	Listen to Hello Monday with me, Jesse Hempel on the LinkedIn Podcast Network or wherever you get your podcasts.
0:41.6	Jay, thanks for joining us today.
0:43.7	Thanks for having me.
0:44.8	Yeah, it's our pleasure.
0:46.1	So how would you get it started by telling us a little bit about yourself and what you do?
0:50.0	Great.
0:50.9	I am a coach and an educator and I work with individuals and organizations. I help people to
0:56.8	leverage their body and their nervous system and their brain to show up as their best selves in the
1:03.1	situations that matter to them most. I often say that I help people to be themselves in other people's force fields. Oh, I like that. Okay,
1:14.3	dig deeper into that last line because that's fascinating. Yeah. Well, I guess I've heard you say that
1:19.4	you're a people pleaser as well. We're covering people pleaser here. And I know for me that my
1:26.9	experience growing up and in my 20s and even my early 30s, my sense was if there was another person in front of me, it was all about what do they need for me.
1:35.5	Who do I need to be?
1:36.9	How do I need to show up?
1:38.7	You know, and I would, it was, it was as if it was like my soul gets sucked out of me and I have no sense of myself,
	...

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