The Real Reason You Can't Stop Overcommitting (and what to do about it)

The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

Newlifefellowship, Religion & Spirituality, Leadership, Richvillodas, Petescazzero, Emotionallyhealthyspirituality, Christianity, Faith, Peterscazzero, Churchleaders, Spirituality, Emotionallyhealthy, Newyork, Pastor

4.8 • 673 Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2023

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Many leaders today "know" the importance of a slowed-down spirituality.

So why do so many continue to feel overloaded and over scheduled, often working 3 jobs, taking on new side hustles, and remain driven by the fear of missing out? Why can't we stop overcommitting?

Listen, I know this struggle firsthand. And I've found that it goes deeper than knowing intellectually and theologically the right thing to do.

On today's podcast, I tackle this question head-on in two parts:

How do you break free from the roots of overcommitment inside yourself?
How do you help others break free from overcommitment as you lead them?

This is an important one. I pray that as you listen, you begin to experience a newfound freedom in Christ.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, my name is Pete Cousero. I want to welcome you today to the Emotionally Healthy Leader
0:09.0	Podcast. Now, today's topic is the real reason you can't stop over committing and what to do about it.
0:17.0	Now, this theme comes out of my work over the years, especially the last couple of years,
0:23.6	with a number of pastors and leaders, who even though they may be engaging, E.H. discipleship,
0:31.0	doing daily offices, sabbithing each week, you may even have a spiritual director,
0:37.2	they find themselves consistently over committed,
0:40.9	overloaded, doing two or three different jobs with side gigs, and still having a real problem
0:47.6	slowing down. I mean, Jesus did not do 80-hour weeks and being consistently in a rush. And so we got into this theme of
0:58.3	introjects, which is what we're going to talk about today. I know this well myself, the struggle,
1:04.6	the challenge of actually slowing down to not over-commit and getting at the roots of the issue.
1:11.6	Now, as many of you know, we do an EH discipleship course that we've developed over the years, a part one and a part two, that we recommend people do in their churches now.
1:23.6	And it gets at deep messages underneath in our icebergs that drive us out of our family
1:30.8	of origins and cultures that cause us to become overcommitted.
1:35.3	So for example, in part one, emotionally of the spirituality, one of the questions that
1:42.0	you get at in this workbook and is an application around what are the negative scripts that you're carrying perhaps out of your family of origin.
1:50.8	So it may be scripts that were handed to you like out of your history of your family, like you don't have a right to enjoy your life.
1:58.4	It's not okay to make mistakes or don't trust people. Always be nice or don't
2:02.9	feel what you feel. Don't ask questions. Don't assert or use your voice. And so people like this fellow
2:09.6	named Dan who grew up in a family where if he got an A in his report card, he was punished by his
2:13.9	father for not getting an A plus. So his his negative script, as he struggles with perfectionism
2:19.4	and work-holism, that damages his relationships is, get it right all the time, and don't make
2:25.2	mistakes. A young woman named Allison, her parents divorced when she was seven, but her father promised
	...

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