The Real Downside of Intentionally Misunderstanding People

Schauer Thoughts

Sarah Schauer & Studio71

Comedy, Education

4.8 • 669 Ratings

🗓️ 1 October 2025

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week in the communal Schauer we’re discussing the actual, neurological, downside of intentionally (not accidentally) misunderstanding others! Now I do want y’all to know that there is a difference between genuine debate and being an obtuse pr*ck, so please don’t assume I’m saying “never disagree again.” You can understand (comprehend) someone but you do not have to validate their augment (apply positive or negative moral judgement) because those are two separate processes in the brain. Other than that, please enjoy this episode, have an amazing week, and I hope you feel *a moderate to intense* experience of delight with this new information! Please like and subscribe on YouTube, rate me five stars on Apple Podcasts and Spotify! I greatly appreciate it. Please always feel free to send Schauer Thoughts episodes to your therapist or mental health provider :) For more information on my book club visit: Substack: https://sarahschauer.substack.com/p/schauer-thoughts-book-club-additional?utm_source=activity_item Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/sarahschauer/membership Resources: Olivia Unplugged Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@olivia.unplugged?_t=ZT-90APwzxxDNG&_r=1 Such an incredible creator and account, definitely recommend following her! Life In Three Dimensions: How Curiosity, Exploration, and Experience Make a Fuller, Better Life - Shigehiro Oishi, PhD Why We Sleep - Matthew Walker PhD Use Powerful Intentions to Become Your Authentic Best https://newayscenter.com/powerful-intentions-authentic-best/ Helpful resource for positively framing intentions The influence of intentions on dream content https://academic.oup.com/sleepadvances/article/5/1/zpae088/7912101 How the Little-Known Zeigarnik Effect Impacts Everyone Daily https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/natural-order/202209/how-the-little-known-zeigarnik-effect-impacts-everyone-daily The Art of Sustainable Performance: The Zeigarnik Effect https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-030-46463-9_10 Dreaming and offline memory processing https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(10)01360-6?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS0960982210013606%3Fshowall%3Dtrue The Neuroscience of Goals and Behavior Change https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5854216/#:~:text=This%20habit%20learning%20process%20also,with%20in%20the%20first%20place. The neural bases of feeling understood and not understood https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4249470/#nst191-B33 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, guys. My name is Sarah Shower, and this is Shower Thoughts, a podcast for left and right brainers, middle brainers.
0:14.7	Anyone with the peripheral or central nervous system, anyone who's got a lot of nerve, welcome.
0:19.8	So today's episode is going to be about the actual downside of intentionally misunderstanding people now if you've been online for more than five minutes you will notice that people like to misinterpret what you're saying and while there is there are a lot of people who may genuinely not understand what you're saying that's so valid and we will help you with that there are a lot of people who may genuinely not understand what you're saying.
0:38.0	That's so valid, and we will help you with that.
0:40.5	There are people who intentionally misunderstand you, misinterpret, misconstrue what you're saying,
0:47.1	and an attempt to win the conversation.
0:49.7	Now, that sort of mentality does actually have some very serious downsides and we will be discussing that but
0:57.2	before we get into that how is my week been guys um so freaking good i started my book club um there's
1:04.9	sunday and monday meetings and i met my book club members and they're just so cool. Like everyone is just has like such a
1:13.0	unique range of backgrounds. You know, some people just genuinely are like falling in love with
1:17.3	learning. Some people are like therapists and researchers and it's just nice to have like a community
1:23.0	of people who want to learn about psychological richness because we are talking about how to cultivate
1:28.3	psychological richness.
1:29.3	Richness I know does kind of suggest money, but it's, we're talking about intangible things mainly.
1:36.3	I mean, you can use tangible things to develop psychological richness, but it's more like an ambitious pursuit, right? And it's just like
1:46.6	cultivating internal values and beliefs and like happiness. But it's been so fun. Also, I have an
1:52.5	annotation session afterwards with my book clubbers. I teach how I annotate books. And it's so
1:58.2	nice. I'm showing people the different color system I use and oh my gosh, a couple people submitted
2:05.1	their annotations to the Discord board and I got to, I got to review one and I'm going
2:13.2	to review a couple more when I get home, but it's just like you can see, with the annotation method
2:18.1	that I use, it's kind of scoring a book with color, right? If you think of like music scoring,
2:24.1	you know how you add like intrigue, drama, like using different types of music to like add a certain
	...

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