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Football Ramble

The Preview Show: B&Q Toilet Paper

Football Ramble

Stak Production

Football Analysis, Football Highlights, Football Commentary, Football, Soccer Podcast, Football Transfer News, Fifa, World Cup, Comedy, Soccer, Sports, England, Premier League, Football Podcast, Football Rumours, Football News

4.69.3K Ratings

🗓️ 29 May 2026

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What's that rumbling noise I can hear? Ah, yes. The unmistakeable sound of Jim Campbell trembling in his boots at the very thought of Khvicha Kvaratskhelia charging at the Arsenal defence. Oh, wait. No it isn't. That's just the sound of Pete's stomach screaming as he attempts to drink jellied meerkats from a glass.


They both join Marcus to preview Arsenal's date with destiny. Is a PSG win really as inevitable as we all think? Plus, Steve Clarke's reign as Scotland manager is extended, and FIFA cover up an mural in Dallas reminding the public about the importance of marine conversation. Excuse the pun - is it even possible for them to sink any deeper?


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The Football Ramble, the original and best football podcast. Brand new podcasts every single weekday throughout the Premier League season and every day throughout the 2026 FIFA World Cup.

No cliches. No ex-pros like Peter Crouch or The Rest is Football. Just the funniest football conversation out there. Your guardian for the season, daily not weekly. Stick to the Ramble, totally.


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Tell your boyfriend, hold your jar, everybody.

0:02.4

Welcome to the Football Rambled preview show.

0:05.1

It's the Ruddy Champions League final tomorrow

0:07.1

because today is Friday 29th of May.

0:09.0

I'm Marcus Speller.

0:09.9

I'm Jim Campbell.

0:10.6

I'm Pete Donaldson.

0:25.6

Oh, hello everybody. Come on!

0:26.6

It's a big Friday.

0:27.6

It's Champions League Eve, Peter.

0:29.7

Yeah, hope you get ready to get rambled to fuck.

0:34.7

Calm down.

0:35.6

Calm down.

0:36.0

No, rev it up.

0:37.1

Yeah, exactly. I'm going to have a glass of jelly baby. Genuinely. Oh, rev it up! Yeah, exactly.

0:37.9

I'm going to have a glass of jelly baby. Genuinely. Yeah, you've got a little glass of jelly baby. Not allowed to eat in the studio, but it's technically not food. If it's in a glass. That's not true. That is not a technicality. I think we need to have an investigation on that. Not you, the food. You're right. What are we labeling as food?

0:55.2

Exactly.

0:56.2

If it's a very hot deer,

0:57.6

if I left this out, I think we need to have an investigation on that. Not you, the food, you're right. What are we labelling as food?

0:55.2

Exactly.

0:56.0

If it's a very hot day, if I left this outside, it would liquefy. I don't think that would happen. Jim, Jim, Jim, right. Jim, we'll come to you in a minute, Jim. Put them on the window, cell. Yeah. Let's see if it liquefies. Yes. and could you fry an egg on the ground as well?

1:10.9

Exactly.

...

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